B & P 11: Ladies Everywhere! Bloggers, Eye Candy And Rappers

Hmm… How come I almost let two whole months go by just like that without giving you a dose of the B & P, huh? Anyway, this month the focus is on some drop-dead fine women…

2x Years Ago…
…an angel was born! And a chubby one at that… That’s right. One of our own in the MN house, Woomie to be exact, added one more year to her fabulous life yesterday so now you know the 4th of July isn’t just special to only the U.S. of A.
Too bad I couldn’t be there but wherever you are, if you haven’t done so already, kindly hop over to her blog and holler at her, OK?
Happy Birthday dear, and here’s wishing you many more happier years still. From Esquire and me, thanks for being our friend!!!

Her Royal Awesomeness Delivers…
And no, I’m not talking of her e-baby… that’s old news. Now, anyone who’s been reading these pages would know how I’ve been whining about laying hands on the Illegal Music Mixtape. I’m even beefing BTC about it sef. Well beef no more…
My one-time prospective boo, Her Royal Awesomeness, the one and only, She of the Tightest Bum, stunning blogger with her smart Medico brain, Bumight has finally sent me a “roundabout” copy of the said mixtape and I’m already drooling anticipating the clash of killer beats and ice-fire lyrics bombarding my ear-drums. What makes this gift even far more special is because this will be the very first time a blogger is getting me a present of any sort. You guys rock jo!
Thank you! Thank you!! Thanks a million, Bumight! The interest and concern in giving me musical pleasure means a lot to me even though I’m still short of words. And yes, I will wear your ring…

There Is One Caveat Though…
Is it just me, or are Internet services in Nigeria going back to the early days of being plain old crap? All this downtime is surely driving me crazy. Honestly I can’t say if it’s the cafes I use or their lousy ISPs but I seriously doubt if broadband has in actual fact, come to Nigeria. No, I am not trying to run my country down but nowadays it gets so frustrating attempting to download stuff or watch videos on YouTube unlike a few months back. And anyone in the know can testify to the simple fact that Naija music videos tend to hit YouTube first before the local TV channels (it’s not difficult figuring out why. YouTube is “free” and reaches a wider audience).
As you might have rightly guessed, my gripe stems from the fact that I am currently unable to download that mixtape even till now. Last time I tried, Opera kindly informed me that it would take 9 hours, 53 minutes and 23 seconds (an exaggeration nonetheless) to download and truthfully, I have neither the patience nor finances to attempt that feat.
In the meantime while I figure it out, I think I’ll just follow Bumight’s example and write on my Twitter page: If you love me, send me a copy of the Illegal Music mixtape.
Maybe that will get BTC and a couple of other females rustling…

Kel’s Investment
Kel Ohia is Investing and big time too…
And no, I’m not talking of investing in a stunning evening gown especially as there’s nothing absolutely wrong with this one which she sported to Etcetera’s Black Tie Gig which held June 14th. If for nothing, one reason to love this extremely good-looking, full-figured rapper is the fact that she isn’t afraid to bring the sexy back into Hip-hop. If you check out her full package in the dress she wore towards the end of the Waa Wa Alright video, I’m sure you’ll agree with me. You can also scope her out in the video for Too Fine.
Her sexy self aside, Kel’s debut album The Investment which release had previously been shifted some months back, was set to hit the stores on 22-06-09. And guess what? I’m about to go out there and - in the usual Idumota slang - “grab a copy now!” When I do, you can be sure I’ll be letting you guys know what I like about the album. Or not…
Meanwhile, one more bootylicious Kel picture to add to my PC desktop, thank you!

Linda’s Dreams and Inspirations
Permit me to say this, one blogger I have secretly respected and openly admired for a very long time since I stumbled upon her page happens to be ex-model and entrepreneur, Linda Ikeji. Of course I am not so much taken by her good looks and curves (not bad… not bad at all) but the one thing I really dig about her is her enterprising, ambitious, never-say-die spirit and the fact that she always strives to remain open to all her fans regardless of anything. For all you know, she could be the girl next door. Or not. But what’s more important, she knows whatever it is she wants and goes after it.
So here’s me doing a little bit of unsolicited PR for her. Recently Linda launched her latest endeavour - her fashion line - online. Now normally, I am not one to fuss about threads and stitches but her fashion line which features a collection of Indian-themed apparel (called Indian Dreams) and her Inspirational Tee-shirts/tops (dubbed i-Tees) have given me enough eye-candy as it is that I just had to blog about them. The pictures below are actually my favourites out of both collections but by all means, do click on the links above to get so much more detailed info on the collections (plus some more eye-tease, if you catch my drift). And just like Linda says, kindly focus on the fine clothes and not the fine models! LOL...

"Once you choose hope, anything is possible"

This one I love the most. It says “Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it.” Inspirational, yet highly suggestive at the same time…He he he he!!!

The Indian Dream collection is made by Indian designer Padu Jiandani exclusively for Linda Ikeji.

BOUQUI Sings A Love Song
BOUQUI’s latest single, I Love You Forever has been gracing the airwaves for several weeks now and looks set to successfully take over the reins from her previous hit track Morile making 2009 indeed the year of the B.O.U.Q.U.I. And like its predecessor, you can be sure the video might be out any time now, if it isn’t already.
The new single is very, very nice but what will give several audiophiles pause on hearing this track is the fact that this gospo-centric rapper temporarily ditches her rapping style and actually sings in her new love ballad. Hmmm… BOUQUI is singing romantic music! Rather puzzling considering she accomplishes this metamorphosis beautifully too making one wonder why she has stuck with rapping since like forever.
Nevertheless, the single was mixed and mastered by her brother, Mix Master Jay and features Mike Aremu who skilfully commandeers the sax as usual. Lyrics-wise, I Love You Forever suggests BOUQUI’s pledge to fulfil the love, devotion and duties of a new-wedded wife, which if you ask me re-inforces the fact that the song is a very clear message to Mr. Right. Whether Prince Charming is actually on the line is sadly not information I am privy to.
With the past success of Sunny Neji’s Oruka, it’s a sure bet that I Love You Forever is bound to be the newest wedding song of the year. Seeing Wande Coal perform Bumper To Bumper to usher in a couple during a wedding recently on TV is SO NOT IT and it’s refreshing to have the ladies singing the wedding songs for a change. Her new album, BOUQUI Redefined or Redefinitions (take your pick!) is slated for launch today the 5th of July at the Eko Hotel & Suites.
On a final note, hey I love you BOUQUI forever too, but I think the famed BOUQUI hairstyle and Hip-hop gear is so 2007-ish. My personal advice? Kindly ditch the tomboy look, lose the hair and ask Kel for fashion tips. Nicely…

Like I always say my peeps, till we meet again…
PEACE!!!

Kel, i-Tees and Indian Dreams pixes courtesy LindaIkeji.blogspot.com

B & P 9: Paparazzi vs. Glitterati, Onyeka Onwenu and Tantalize-hers

Between Niyi, Linda, Dele & Omowunmi

When the paparazzi fight the glitterati, you can be sure that what gets thrown around won’t be confetti. Blogville is becoming an extremely fascinating neighbourhood just like our own backyards and sometimes it’s very interesting to look out of our kitchen windows to see which neighbours are fighting.

Where am I headed this time? Well, those of you who visit Niyi Tabiti’s blog (GREAT blog by the way) and Linda Ikeji’s (GREAT chick by the way) would have noticed the quick war of words that went on last week. They’ve both resolved the issue now and I know its stale gist but no-one ever tires of hearing the story of a big fight, abi?

For those of you who don’t know, trouble started when Niyi granted an interview to a young dude during The Future Awards event who claimed he and Omowunmi Akinnifesi (everybody sabi her now? Na she dey picture) were getting married soon. Omowunmi (the real Omo-sexy in my opinion) when asked by Mr. Paparazzi, didn’t say anything to support or refute the claim so chikena! He went ahead to publish his story. And that’s when the dam bust!

Enter Linda, who then jumps into the fight with a post in which (in Niyi’s opinion) she lampoons the entire Nigerian entertainment media. Niyi, quick to the trigger, returned the service with a full backhand in a reply post which chronicled one of his experiences as Linda’s publicist and how several celebrities have denied relationships that turned into… ahem… deeper relationships and marriages. (He also gave us an insight into where Linda’s flat is located and what she does there! LOL!!!)

Anyway, all the parties have now settled, we now know Dele Fasan was an engagement-impostor and Omowunmi is still single (YIPEEE!!!!).

Personally, I feel there is a teeny-weeny little bit more to this story oh! My smallest toe (my gossip alarm) is tingling seriously! Then, I also want to know where that Dele Fasan of a guy is hiding now. Some people might be targeting the guy for some serious brushing but personally I think we all need to buy him a round of beer. After all it’s not easy to become an instant celebrity in Nigeria just like that. We too plenty…

If I was him, no shaking me for do the same thing. From now on, I am going to start targeting celebrities to marry on the Red Carpet like no man business. Oya! Onyeka Onwenu, Eucharia Anunobi, Empress Njamah and (my personal, full-breasted favourite) Mercy Johnson, where una dey?

Speaking of Onyeka Onwenu…

I saw her anchoring Zain’s latest Talent Reality TV show, “Don’t Forget The Lyrics!” (yes, yet another one…Sigh…). For those of you who never watched Black & White television back in the days, Onyeka Onwenu (who’s also referred to as “The Elegant Stallion” - before anyone accuses me of having a dirty mind, I didn’t coin that!) is a songstress-extraordinaire whose hit love-song “You and I” was probably the reason some of you were born in the first place. Not too long ago she decided to hitch her train with Nollywood, appearing in flicks and now she’s a TV host.

The babe-woman was totally smashing in the skinny jeans and blouse she wore during the Ibadan screening of the talent show that set off her pear-shaped figure so well even my sister complimented her (ladies, beware my sister’s tongue). Surprising because Ms. O’s old enough to be something close to my mother’s younger sister’s age (but abeg, since when did it become a crime to admire better thing/person?) I wonder where that fashion article I read somewhere got the idea that skinny jeans is a no-no for senior babes because it made them look like O.B.Y. (Old But Young)?

On the flip side, Zain’s “Don’t Forget The Lyrics!” is a reality show that doesn’t necessarily judge the voice of the contestants (for a change) but how well they can remember the lyrics of popular tracks in the music category of their choice (see more details below).

Gongo Aso @ The Ibadan Screening

What was the most popular track chosen for contestants at the Ibadan screening? Yep! You guessed right… It was 9ice’s Gongo Aso. The performances were entertaining but I wondered why the choice of that very popular song for the contestants. Is there any Yoruba guy out there that honestly doesn’t know the lyrics to that song? Come to think of it, even Ibo guys know it as well (as for Aboki them, me I no know o!)

It was 9ice (pun intended) seeing the lyrics of the song scroll on the screen though especially one very tricky part I’ve been wounding lyrically for some time now. How could I have guessed that what he was actually singing was “Moet nlo, Hennessey nlo, Bacardi nlo, ohhhhh!!!?” Zain, thank you jare! While we’re at it, can I have the lyrics to “4Kasibe” too? Too hard? OK, what of Femi Kuti’s “Bang, Bang Bang”? Or Zulezoo’s “Kerewa”?

Ehen, back to the gist. My best performance? It was by one guy like that (I always forget guys’ names) who combined 9ice’s lyrics with Klint Da Drunk’s dance steps to produce a new style. Even Onyeka had to dub him “Klint Da 9ice”!

And ahem… ahem… Naija gals are very, very fine o! I mean, check out the fine Ibo babe with the dyed hair and killer glasses whose name is the title of an oldtime highlife track (Osondiowendi). The Asa-wannabe who said she performs at the Premier Hotel, Ibadan told everyone Asa was her role model and yet managed to fluff the second verse of “Jailer”. Or is the chick that did a duet with Onyeka? Abeg, if anybody knows Busola who is a student in Ibadan and who appeared on the Zain show, please tell her I’ll pay 50K sharp-sharp just to get her number. Her face, her voice, her smile, her white blouse with green patterns, her formings sef, all na die! That girl drove me NUTS, men!!!

Interestingly, a third girl, Tega said she studies Wildlife in Ibadan (GROWLLLLLL!!!) And by the way, can someone explain to me how come I can remember all the girl’s names?

And 14th February passes…

Finally! The dreaded day of love has gone by leaving a few earthquakes behind. (Hint: Afrobabe went from “It’s complicated” to being “Single”. Don’t ask me how or why but the news made me a bit happy sha!).

Interestingly, the day was celebrated in Osogbo, the Osun state capital, a little bit differently this year. The difference? Well a new outlet of the Tantalizers Fast Food franchise opened in Osogbo some time shortly before Lovers’ Day. Smart idea on the part of the restaurateurs - at least they launched just in time to catch the love-is-in-the-air market.

Apart from a few other smaller outlets, Tantalizers’ launch brings to two the number of places you can take your sugar-mummies and sugar-daddies to (did I neglect the kids? Sorry…). Mr. Biggs, which has been operating alone for quite a while now, was the first.

Now before those reading this think I have shares in both outlets or that this is a paid advert, no you’re wrong on both counts (I actually don’t like fast-food by the way, I think it’s way too over-priced).

I only mention it in passing because the word “Tantalizers” has now been added to the Osogbo people’s Lexicon of Forming. Heard one girl ask another one as she got on a bike where she was going to when that day of all days was Valentine’s Day.

The responder didn’t hesitate to tell her questioner (loud enough so we all could hear) that she was going to check out the latest fast-food joint.

She called it “Vulcanizers”!!!

Remain posted…

Peace!

Photo Credits: Omowunmi Akinnifesi/Niyi Tabiti (Niyi Tabiti’s blog)