Headz Up! Updates...

This isn’t yet another B & P as usual, just a few issues that have gone on since I last updated that I thought you guys should know about…

Failure To Launch

Contrary to what was earlier reported, female rapper Kel’s album launch has been postponed once more… Again! Though there are no reports yet as to what caused the delay (piracy issues were said to be responsible for an earlier postponement), Kel’s FB page states that the time lag was due to efforts to ensure "the album is fabulous from case to the last track.”

But I really, really wish she and the label Capital Hill Music would choose a date and really stick with it this time around. Pushing forward record release dates definitely doesn’t augur well for a debut album.

It’s no secret that I am a solid fan already but the rest of Nigeria’s entertainment audience can be quite fickle 90% of the time especially when they sense you are jerking their cord. In all honesty I’m praying that by the time The Investment does actually drop we wouldn’t have already invested our auditory capital elsewhere.

While BOUQUI Is Indeed ReDefined...

On a contrary note, BOUQUI’s album, Redefinition did launch as promised which was carried in this online report here. The story by Jayne Usen did make an interesting read especially where it concerned the anchorman, Kamal Salau (remember him from NTA’s Take A Step and recently, Zain’s Don’t Forget The Lyrics?)

Another story here though unrelated with BOUQUI’s album launch, tells of a fan who was beaten up while trying to “steal” Wande Coal’s stunnahz. I’ve got one piece of advice for Wande as stated by Mr. Bling-Bling himself, Terry G: use costume jewellery.

Boyz Are Not Smiling…

One track I’ve been bumping to recently is Joe - Spazm a.k.a. Terry tha Rapman’s new single, Sample (Remix) which features Original Stereoman and Pheroshawz.

Interestingly, Terry’s Sample (Remix) actually samples Stereoman’s track, Sample (confusing eh?) and the video for the song is out as well. It was shot in a gritty Hip-hop mini-documentary/ street style reminiscent of the Thoroughbreds' Street Hop video and traces the creative process that goes into making the track all the way from the studio straight into a bus until it hits the streets of Alaba.

Like I’ve been saying for a long while every music video ought to have a concept. Big ups to Terry and whoever directed the shoot...

Lyricists On The Roll

And no, I am not referring to the HHW award that goes by that name. Flipping through quite a few newspapers over the weekend, it is indeed worthy to note that several of them seem to be taking Naija music lyrics seriously enough to publish them.

On the online avenue however, it appears most site are yet to give Naija music lyrics the respect they truly deserve. They may be playing our music alright but they are ignoring the words. Typical case in point? A cursory search for MI’s Safe lyrics gave some false positives including sites that only link the video. But then of course you know where you got the video and lyrics at the same time from, right? That’s right, from MN…

On The Lookout

Events to look out for in the coming months? Well, Zain will team up with MTVBase Africa to give you yet another edition of the MTV Base African Music Awards better known as the MAMAs. Last year’s maiden edition held in Abuja did receive not a few knocks so here’s hoping they better get this one right this time.

MTN’s Project Fame West Africa is already screening on AIT and MITV while Zain again looks to take up after them with its own Music Talent show, Idols West Africa 2. Honestly, after seeing the quality of winners that emerged from previous editions of both shows, we definitely can’t wait to get on this one.

On a music level, Albums I’m looking forward to listening to this month include the latest releases from artistes like Etcetera, Djinee, BOUQUI and Bracket.

And On a Final Note…

Is LG AWOL? I’ve been stalking her blog for the past few weeks and I come out sad everyday. The rank of Blogville legends seems to be depleting way too fast which is sad really considering I “grew” up on most of these folks.

My sweet potato, I do see your comment on a few other blogs but wherever you are, I’m really missing your funny wit like MAD. Holler at me, OK?

Meanwhile, on a side note, you can read up a story here I wrote a while back specially for her. It also mentions certain bloggers. Who knows, you just might have been one of them…

Happy Weekend!

B & P 11: Ladies Everywhere! Bloggers, Eye Candy And Rappers

Hmm… How come I almost let two whole months go by just like that without giving you a dose of the B & P, huh? Anyway, this month the focus is on some drop-dead fine women…

2x Years Ago…
…an angel was born! And a chubby one at that… That’s right. One of our own in the MN house, Woomie to be exact, added one more year to her fabulous life yesterday so now you know the 4th of July isn’t just special to only the U.S. of A.
Too bad I couldn’t be there but wherever you are, if you haven’t done so already, kindly hop over to her blog and holler at her, OK?
Happy Birthday dear, and here’s wishing you many more happier years still. From Esquire and me, thanks for being our friend!!!

Her Royal Awesomeness Delivers…
And no, I’m not talking of her e-baby… that’s old news. Now, anyone who’s been reading these pages would know how I’ve been whining about laying hands on the Illegal Music Mixtape. I’m even beefing BTC about it sef. Well beef no more…
My one-time prospective boo, Her Royal Awesomeness, the one and only, She of the Tightest Bum, stunning blogger with her smart Medico brain, Bumight has finally sent me a “roundabout” copy of the said mixtape and I’m already drooling anticipating the clash of killer beats and ice-fire lyrics bombarding my ear-drums. What makes this gift even far more special is because this will be the very first time a blogger is getting me a present of any sort. You guys rock jo!
Thank you! Thank you!! Thanks a million, Bumight! The interest and concern in giving me musical pleasure means a lot to me even though I’m still short of words. And yes, I will wear your ring…

There Is One Caveat Though…
Is it just me, or are Internet services in Nigeria going back to the early days of being plain old crap? All this downtime is surely driving me crazy. Honestly I can’t say if it’s the cafes I use or their lousy ISPs but I seriously doubt if broadband has in actual fact, come to Nigeria. No, I am not trying to run my country down but nowadays it gets so frustrating attempting to download stuff or watch videos on YouTube unlike a few months back. And anyone in the know can testify to the simple fact that Naija music videos tend to hit YouTube first before the local TV channels (it’s not difficult figuring out why. YouTube is “free” and reaches a wider audience).
As you might have rightly guessed, my gripe stems from the fact that I am currently unable to download that mixtape even till now. Last time I tried, Opera kindly informed me that it would take 9 hours, 53 minutes and 23 seconds (an exaggeration nonetheless) to download and truthfully, I have neither the patience nor finances to attempt that feat.
In the meantime while I figure it out, I think I’ll just follow Bumight’s example and write on my Twitter page: If you love me, send me a copy of the Illegal Music mixtape.
Maybe that will get BTC and a couple of other females rustling…

Kel’s Investment
Kel Ohia is Investing and big time too…
And no, I’m not talking of investing in a stunning evening gown especially as there’s nothing absolutely wrong with this one which she sported to Etcetera’s Black Tie Gig which held June 14th. If for nothing, one reason to love this extremely good-looking, full-figured rapper is the fact that she isn’t afraid to bring the sexy back into Hip-hop. If you check out her full package in the dress she wore towards the end of the Waa Wa Alright video, I’m sure you’ll agree with me. You can also scope her out in the video for Too Fine.
Her sexy self aside, Kel’s debut album The Investment which release had previously been shifted some months back, hit the stores on 22-06-09. And guess what? Albeit late, I’m about to go out there and - in the usual Idumota slang - “grab a copy now!” When I do, you can be sure I’ll be letting you guys know what I like about the album. Or not…
Meanwhile, one more bootylicious Kel picture to add to my PC desktop, thank you!

Linda’s Dreams and Inspirations
Permit me to say this, one blogger I have secretly respected and openly admired for a very long time since I stumbled upon her page happens to be ex-model and entrepreneur, Linda Ikeji. Of course I am not so much taken by her good looks and curves (not bad… not bad at all) but the one thing I really dig about her is her enterprising, ambitious, never-say-die spirit and the fact that she always strives to remain open to all her fans regardless of anything. For all you know, she could be the girl next door. Or not. But what’s more important, she knows whatever it is she wants and goes after it.
So here’s me doing a little bit of unsolicited PR for her. Recently Linda launched her latest endeavour - her fashion line - online. Now normally, I am not one to fuss about threads and stitches but her fashion line which features a collection of Indian-themed apparel (called Indian Dreams) and her Inspirational Tee-shirts/tops (dubbed i-Tees) have given me enough eye-candy as it is that I just had to blog about them. The pictures below are actually my favourites out of both collections but by all means, do click on the links above to get so much more detailed info on the collections (plus some more eye-tease, if you catch my drift). And just like Linda says, kindly focus on the fine clothes and not the fine models! LOL...

"Once you choose hope, anything is possible"

This one I love the most. It says “Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it.” Inspirational, yet highly suggestive at the same time…He he he he!!!

The Indian Dream collection is made by Indian designer Padu Jiandani exclusively for Linda Ikeji.

BOUQUI Sings A Love Song
BOUQUI’s latest single, I Love You Forever has been gracing the airwaves for several weeks now and looks set to successfully take over the reins from her previous hit track Morile making 2009 indeed the year of the B.O.U.Q.U.I. And like its predecessor, you can be sure the video might be out any time now, if it isn’t already.
The new single is very, very nice but what will give several audiophiles pause on hearing this track is the fact that this gospo-centric rapper temporarily ditches her rapping style and actually sings in her new love ballad. Hmmm… BOUQUI is singing romantic music! Rather puzzling considering she accomplishes this metamorphosis beautifully too making one wonder why she has stuck with rapping since like forever.
Nevertheless, the single was mixed and mastered by her brother, Mix Master Jay and features Mike Aremu who skilfully commandeers the sax as usual. Lyrics-wise, I Love You Forever suggests BOUQUI’s pledge to fulfil the love, devotion and duties of a new-wedded wife, which if you ask me re-inforces the fact that the song is a very clear message to Mr. Right. Whether Prince Charming is actually on the line is sadly not information I am privy to.
With the past success of Sunny Neji’s Oruka, it’s a sure bet that I Love You Forever is bound to be the newest wedding song of the year. Seeing Wande Coal perform Bumper To Bumper to usher in a couple during a wedding recently on TV is SO NOT IT and it’s refreshing to have the ladies singing the wedding songs for a change. Her new album, BOUQUI Redefined or Redefinitions (take your pick!) is slated for launch today the 5th of July at the Eko Hotel & Suites.
On a final note, hey I love you BOUQUI forever too, but I think the famed BOUQUI hairstyle and Hip-hop gear is so 2007-ish. My personal advice? Kindly ditch the tomboy look, lose the hair and ask Kel for fashion tips. Nicely…

Like I always say my peeps, till we meet again…
PEACE!!!

Kel, i-Tees and Indian Dreams pixes courtesy LindaIkeji.blogspot.com

My Life’s Soundtrack - Teaser

This here’s my last M.I. track for the month of June…
The lyrics of this track were once the subject of debate between two Facebook-ers on the MI group page. Interestingly, the debate stems mostly from each person’s interpretation of what feature-artiste Pype is really saying, giving his strong patois and the overlapping beats.
Too bad few Naija artistes bother releasing the lyrics of their tracks so we’ll just keep doing the transcribing for them.
This here is my own interpretation of that song…

Track: Teaser (Track 5 from the album Talk About It)
Artiste: M. I. (feat Pype)
Transcribed by: Naughty Eyes

[Hook] x 3
Me tell her say I’m the girl pleaser, big booty squeezer
Teaser looking for a diva fo’ shizz-a
What you need is a geezer cool like a freezer
Rule like a Ceasar

[Pype]
Bling! 7-star General ‘longside M. I.

Repeat Hook

And that’s me…

[MI]
Me tell her say: Hello Mamacita
You a-sexy chick-a
I’m a girl teaser
So baby let me please ya
Far from a church mouse but love a lotta cheese-a
Me loving your features
Can you move your feet-a
I’m a Loopy President, you can be my Evita
If a girl don’t wanna flow, me always delete her
And me never repeat her
Me look for something sweeter
Take me to the club and make it hot like a heater

[Pype]
From Pype to the Pipe, Pype, Pype!
From the juvenile, irreversatile
They did not promote girl, we the genuine
Love them to swallow them pride
And just to gleam and wine
7-star General, MI, fresh rhyme
Me a-flip it, lift it on it and the girl them love I
And we no nigh ‘pon them mime midnight to 5
Me love the girl them pretty head to toe
And what you a-goner? Me a-sing all night

Repeat Hook x 2

[MI]
So me tell her:
Have you ever been to Jamaica
Been to Malaysia
All I’ve got is paper so let me upgrade ya
Take you to the next level like an elevator
Your boyfriend is a hater
But he can be our waiter
I’m solar energy and he a-generator
I’m a-PC and he a-cheap calculator
Girl I got dough I bake bread like a baker
Now you’re on my radar so let me get your data

[Pype]
OK! Suddenly me pull me pepperoni ‘pon a pizza
And these girls them love me just like them redeemer
Give it to them and they call me the teacher
Me flip it, lift it on it and the girl no retire
From me roll, send me love their way
To the early morn me no run away
Fi give the girl them truly what them need
7-star General, MI once again

Repeat Hook x 2

And that’s me… (echo)

Pype [Spoken]
Rump on it
Crump on it
MI and Pype!

Repeat Hook x 2

MI and Pype!
Begin the wine
Me love the way me see some boys
Big up them chest like a-them King Kong
Say from now till the early morn
For you we a-fi ever sing song

Repeat Hook

7-star General, ‘longside MI
Me a-sing fi the girl them
Blew!
Ok, alright
Ok, alright…

Fade

Lyrics © M.I. & Chocolate City Music 2008

Flogging A (Hopefully) Dead Horse...

It is indeed a fine time to be a critic…

Wow! After reading Reuben Abati’s article on nationality and the face of our emerging music landscape and Banky W’s rejoinder to the said article, I can only conclude that for once I am really proud of the jolt it has given the entire Naija (or is it Nigerian?) entertainment industry to carry out some much-needed soul-searching.

When many of us FaceBook-ers saw the notifications on our FB Wall, little did we know that an earthquake was in the making.

For those of you not in the know, Reuben Abati’s piece is in summary, a tongue-lashing of the younger generation of Nigerian entertainers (and we the audiences alike) written in the context of comparisons of past and present music, their respective proponents, the re-mixing of the national anthem and the current style of abbreviated nomenclature which in Mr. Abati’s view represents an alarming loss of national identity.

Banky W’s equally sarcastic yet respectful response on the other hand, which strives to make a case for the younger generation challenges several notions as proposed by Mr. Abati by drawing parallels with the music greats of old as well as highlighting the survivalist entrepreneurial attributes of the present generation and the shortcomings of the much-longed-for “Golden Age”.

As a slight deviation from the very serious issues being treated here, having written the last two paragraphs myself without duly consulting an encyclopedia, thesaurus or concordance, I have indeed proven that I happen to be far more enlightened then Mr. Abati would give my generation credit for and just as polished as Mr. Banky clearly show he is. In short, I am indeed proud of myself. Gbam!

In all honesty I had earlier written a highly intellectual rejoinder to all these rejoinders challenging all Mr. Abati’s assumptions, supporting his valid points and generally proving to him that I know who Lord Lugard and his consort, Flora Shaw were. On the other hand, I also disputed a few of Banky’s sweeping statements supporting a generation of musicians, most of whom - in my opinion - don’t know a musical notation flat from a flat tire.

However, after reading both articles plus the million and one responses that have accompanied both, to tell the truth I am tired of all the bullshitting (pardon my French). I now regret to announce that I have scrapped my intellectual masterpiece.

After reading Tosyn Bucknor’s own post on the issue, I am all very much tempted to pitch camp with her (a very small camp tent for that matter) and say “Warraheck???” What is all this noise about anyway?

As far as I am concerned, half of these reactions to both articles stem from musicians who were annoyed with their perceived misrepresentation (or the wrong spelling of their names or that of their corporate sponsors) in Mr. Abati’s piece. The other half are probably pissed-off that Mr. Abati neglected to mention them.

Rant as we might, we cannot deny some fundamental facts these issues have raised. Mr. Abati was right when he said, “Music is about sense, sound, shape and skills. But there is an on-going deficit in all other aspects except sound. So much sound is being produced in Nigeria, but there is very little sense, shape and skills.”

Banky W was also right when he said, “Far be it from us to claim that we are perfect and flawless in our art... we know that we are still growing and have lots of areas to improve, but the truth of the matter is we have worked very hard to create the industry we have now.”

And Tosyn Bucknor was very, very, very correct when she said “You know what’s worse than someone trying to get your attention? Giving it to them. Which is what I’ve seen a lot of my dear friends and acquaintances do lately.”

And then she said “I see Nigerian artistes who basically have to fend for themselves because structures that should have been put in place where eroded a long time ago! And I applaud the artistes who find this article annoying. Me, I just don’t get why they are paying it this much attention.”

But she hit the hammer squarest on the head when she said “Do they pay us attention when as their fans, we complain that everyone is using the same beat? Has anyone of them listened to us when we say we are tired of ‘Moet’, ‘Bentley’, ‘Maga’ and other words in their lyrics? When last did they show they care, that in spite of the fact that we cringe when we listen to some of the music they churn out, we still support them wholeheartedly?”

Let me guess: Banky’s article will be a favourite with his contemporary artistes who no doubt have linked it into online posterity, clipped out printed copies to pin up on their walls or distribute like fliers at a concert venues and written their own supporting rejoinders to the rejoinders of his rejoinder.

Reuben Abati’s write-up will continuously come under fire till maybe next week when people will tire of it and look for something else to talk (or sing about). Undoubtedly it will spurn a new generation of critics who have now found the courage to say what they’ve been afraid to say all this while about the Naija entertainment industry. Tosyn Bucknor’s (and probably mine as well, who knows) may not come under any fire whatsoever but will be forgotten just as soon.

Like I always say: having a voice is one thing. Saying the right things with that voice is another.

Before the state of my sanity is called into question, let me state here that Abati has never been one to shy away from the truth (or his perception of what truth is) or been known to call a spade a common gardening tool. It isn’t easy to earn my respect but he has earned it and rightly too. However I must agree with the mob on this one. Mr. Abati’s article though finely written indirectly ends up poking out the eye in the process of trying to remove the splinter.

And who knows, maybe poking out that eye has ironically made us see all the better.

While many of the younger generation are still busy celebrating this demonstration of our new-found voice, a few seemed so stunned by the discovery that they do have a voice, so much so that they end up abusing the privilege. I must admit that it was very disheartening seeing people attack Mr. Abati’s character rather that focus squarely on the issues contained in his message.

I am afraid that eventually I have ended up substituting one boringly intellectual post for another. In closing therefore, let me borrow a few lines from my previously scrapped post in which I wrote concerning the loss of national identity which is the bigger issue here and not music:

What is the loss of National Identity? Is it definable in the decaying moral, economic, political and musical fabrics of the present times? Was there indeed a national identity in the first place? Or is what we are seeing now the fall-out of judgements impaired by a cool evening breeze and a romantic moment between Lord Lugard and Flora Shaw?

In all honesty, the loss of national identity started way before Mr. Abati’s time and will go on past Mr. Banky’s generation into the next unless we start realising why we are Nigerians and not how we came to be Nigerians. For like it or not, we are Nigerians. This country is going down in all sectors, not just music and we collectively, old, young, dying and unborn have to pull it up by the bootstraps. I must confess that I do not really know how to do this but surely, throwing generational stones isn’t one of them.

I love Nigeria. I love the youth of Naija. I am proud of Nija, 9ja, Gidi or any other contrivances of nomenclature future generations may come to know this national entity by.

For like I have come to know, as the current re-branding exercise will undoubtedly show, it is not the name by which we call anything that makes it worthwhile.

It is the heart that counts…

My Life’s Soundtrack - Forever

This song on M.I.’s album turned out to be my best track of 2008 much thanks to its extra-smooth blend of soulful R&B tones, rap, drum beats, thumping bass and haunting background violins.
I’m posting it here especially for all the females I’m currently in crush with.
Even if you turn me down, me still love y’all!

Track: Forever (Track 14 from the album Talk About It)
Artiste: M.I.
Transcribed by: Naughty Eyes

[Intro]
Baby (echo), Baby, Baby, Baby (x 4)

[R & B Verse 1]
‘Scuse me lady, I’ve been wanting to know
I’ve been watching you all night on the floor
I’ve been hoping and waiting for this chance
So I could ask you if you would like to dance

[Chorus]
I like the way you move
I like the way you shake
If I don’t answer you girl
Life in lying my heart go bend
I wanna hold you, tease you, rock you, squeeze you
So promise me that you will dance alone with me

[Rap 1]
So sister don’t move, please
You give weak knees
Hey, lil’ Mama, what’s your steeze is
Gotta say ma, you’re looking grand like jeans
Hello hi! I’m M.I.
I’m so fly, my low is high
Been staring all night, you’ve been on my brain
And I wanna be Abel like Cain
To dance all night with you
Let you know since I met you
I know I can’t forget you
See, I can make it rain and I wanna wet you
Let me show how forever can feel like a couple of secs
It’s a whole lot more than just sex
And it isn’t complex
Girl, I’m so Xtra-cool, let’s Xtra-connect

[R & B 2]
If you are ready, let me rock you slowly
Hold you and then we can dance the night away
I have been waiting for so long
To get lost inside a song
This feeling is so strong
C’mon let’s dance the night away

Repeat Chorus

[Rap 2]
Come close, stand here
Eyes closed, no fear
See, you’re the best thing I’ve seen
Destiny has destined, I seen
What’s your story, what’s your tale?
But if it’s love thing just send me a mail
Right now what I wanna do is inhale
Exhale, set sail
So let’s set sail to a foreign land
All these other guys so boring and
You can come too when I’m touring and
I can see your face in the morning and perchance
We can share a whole lifetime’s romance
It’s us right now, tonight what a dance
What a kiss, Miss, miss you
I know you miss me too

[Bridge] X 2
Take it slow, don’t you know (Waited my whole life for you)
Rock your body on the floor (Baby girl I adore you)
If you’re looking for the man to dance with you tonight
Let me do the best I can
We’ll dance from now until it’s light

Repeat Chorus

Forever (echo x 3)
Baby I want to show you
How much I love you

(Oh baby, I want to show you
How much I love you
Hey!)

Baby (echo), Baby, Baby, Baby

(Echo till Fade…)

Lyrics © M.I. & Chocolate City Music 2008

My Life’s Soundtrack - Safe

**Long Lyrical Alert**

Hold up! Have you seen the lyrics to M.I.’s “Safe” ANYWHERE online or offline? No? I didn’t think so! So here’s what I’m going to do… How about I transcribe the lyrics just for you? Great, ain’t it?
YO! Here’s me TRULY and loudly blowing my horn. Not only that but you also get to check out the fresh hot video right here! Did I hear you say you love me?
Where did you get it all from first? I can’t hear you. Where? Only on Media Nemesis, baby!



Track: Safe (Track 7 from the album Talk About It )
Artiste: M.I. (feat. Djinee)
Transcribed by: Naughty Eyes

[Djinee - Spoken Intro]
All these kpomo men now… Them be kpomo men…
(Scoffs) Woah!

[M.I.]
Yo! It’s the way that they do me [echo] (Are we safe right here?)
The way that they do me
Crowds used to boo me but now ladies woo me
Truly I’m sorry, sue me
Me, I’m a Loopy, I’m money long like Moony
I’m Looney like Tuney, your girl wish she knew me
My arms strong like Loony, and C. City blew me up
Yup, you can only watch like a movie
Ruby I’m a- melt the game like a booby
People asking “Who he?”
They call me M.I.-er, just because I’m getting higher
I’m spitting fire, this written fire
There’s no bullshitting I’m sitting on top, Naija’s rap messiah
I kill them Mama, them Papa, bring drama, end proper in coma
This rapper show-stopper, he’s ah ah top-shot
No other rap while I’m rendering, hear the words he’s uttering
‘Cos other rappers stuttering
I rhyme am well, I’m not them, I’m hot, chill! I’ve got skill
The most incredible out of Naija, I’m on fire
I’ve got street credibility and he definitely flow infinitely and so intermittently
Ha! Plus, I’m a party rider ‘cos I flow tighter so put up your lighter
MI be in the house and MC’s they shall bounce and go home to their spouse
‘Cos to stay might be detrimental (mental), better flow better instrumental (mental)
You gotta learn the fundamental (mental) and my flow is so essential, essential, essential
Listen! Silence (Shh!!) is the best answer, not violence
That’s why I bring war on the violins
This is Armageddon dog, hear the sirens
And no, I am not retiring
No, I’m never tiring, these lyrics that I’m firing
But don’t be dismayed, ‘cos Zenith Bank is hiring
For instance, there’s no resistance
The flow persistent and so consistent
Other rappers distant, they should have listened
Because I’m the engine room and the gear and the piston
There’s no rest see, at best you’re assisting
I’m what they’re missing, I’m why they listen
I’m the heart police dawg, I’m cardiac-arresting
The best thing and you’re just microphone-testing

[Hook - Djinee]
Are we safe right here?
You better run fi cover, na we dey right here
Hey! Where you dey when we dey chop kuli-kuli
Dey sell kpoli-kpoli, you dey form holy-holy

[Repeat Hook]

[M. I.]
Don’t try me oh
C. City wan’ eye me oh
And I’m rated highly oh
Heh! They call me M.I.
Listen y’all, yo! Mo gbono feli feli, I’m spitting like Machiavelli
I’m always inside your telly, your lyrics are smelly-smelly
I’m chilling in Pelly Pelly, I’m chilli inside your belly
Rappers are really silly, you rappers Milli Vanilli
But nuffin’ do me because I dey rhyme yo
Nothing’s gonna rule me because I dey shine yo, shine yo
I know I’m so fine yo, I’ll blind y’all with each rhyme yo
I move like a rhino, until we sitting on top, sitting spitting on top
Rappers spitting, they should stop
It’s real when I drop, your sh*t is gonna flop
You kickin’ so sloppy, getting spanked by your Papi
And you should know my P, they call me M.I., M.I., see
I’m rocking M.I. - M.I.C. and my flow is so deadly
Whiskolo whiska, the incredible Mister
The top on the list-a, he’s voted like Next-a
Loved by your sister, he maybe even kissed her
The brand new experience like Vista
Ebariba sanbori bobo
The ladies going loco when they hear his vocal
Rap’s in a choke-hold
Other rappers local, they rap with a vocorder
I’m the koko
Other rappers so-called, I’m medicine for the game like I’m Procold
You can’t deny, I give them what them wanting
And if you’re still sitting down, you’re on a long thing
And if there’s ever been a rap this fly
Yo, it hasn’t been done by another M.I.

[Djinee - Freestyle Pidgin Rap]
Hey! Hey! Why you dey run where you dey run, you think say you get liver
You come dey form like say you be that Arnold Schwarzenegger
Hey! You go talk the one you dey today
Today, today we go run you down you no know where you dey
Heh! We dey kill them, M.I. you dey treat them
Show them say this hip-hop music dey your system
Teach them, school them, if them f**k up, cane them
Oh! Them no know say, them no know say
You be Pyeri boy, I be B-side boy
We do run things eh! We dey run things oh!
Hey oh! Hey! Hey! Ihe ne me! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Pack your load go, pack your load go
M.I. don come here hey!

[M. I.]
Yo! Djinee in the house ladies and gentlemen

[Djinee]
We go run you down in your area
Think am oh!
Hey yo! We go run you down
Your Mama, your Papa
(Scoffs)
Na we dey right here oh

[M. I.]
Yo! And it’s a wrap y’all…

Lyrics © M.I. & Chocolate City Music 2008

PS: The Safe video was directed by Mex of Pixel Chaos. Interestingly, it also contains subtle references to a few other music videos. Quick examples: the background shown when MI says “Whiskolo Whiska” (the title of a Durella song) is a replica of the bar backdrop featured in the video for Shayo, another song by Durella. Also certain digital effects used here are exactly the same in style with the Gbenga Salu - directed Ten-Ten (embedded in the previous post).
Most music video connoisseurs will recognize Mex as the director of the smashin’ high-tech video Dangerous in which Dipp features M.I.

PPS: For those of you who have been good enough to stick to the end, here’s a news leak of a little something-something I’m tentatively working on.
It’s a feature called “TRAQ ANALYSIS” which is a blow-by-blow breakdown of these lyrics, their origins and references. Be on the look-out cos the TRAQ ANALYSIS of these smoking hot lyrics will explode anytime soon on the Spoken Word blog which is currently undergoing a resurrection.
Watch out!

PEACE!

Still Up This June…

…over the next few weeks, I’ll be posting lyrics from M.I.’s HHWA 2009 award-winning Talk About It album (now available on iTunes) which I can’t still get enough of. Sadly I can’t lay hands on his Illegal Music Mixtape so I’m still stuck with the debut album.

I’m still waiting to hear from Bobby Taylor on how to get the sophomore album and I’m seriously hoping Dante can help me out on this one. For now all I can say is watch out for the lyrics to Safe (yes, you heard me right) and several other tracks.

Still speaking of Safe, its music video just dropped and though I’m yet to see it, Lord knows when it’s going to grace TV. The video had been in the works for a while now (the guys at NotJustOK brought the Making to my attention first) and Sturvs.com confirmed the video debut. These online music sources are definitely da BOMB! Thanks a million guys!!!

Plus Mo’ Hits And Ten Ten
On another note, my review of Wande Coal’s album is almost done and I’ll put that up once I’ve applied finishing touches. And for dessert, you can check out the Gbenga Salu-directed video to the Mo’ Hits All Stars single Ten-Ten off the M2M album plus I’ve even thrown in the lyrics close to the bottom of this post.

Their two bonus singles on M2M are a sure sign that the Mo’Hits crew are working on a new project and for their sakes I hope it’s better than their previous CV album.

PS: Finally, a question that has been bugging my mind: has anyone noticed the very low profiles that D’Banj and Kelly Hansome have been keeping recently from their respective record labels’ activities? What’s up with that, huh?

Have a swell week!

PEACE!



Track: Ten Ten (Bonus Track from the Album “Mushin2Mo’ Hits”)
Artistes: Mo’ Hits All Stars
Transcribed by: Naughty Eyes

[Intro - Wande Coal]
Every time I see … (echo) you girly
Every time I see you girly
Mo’ Hits! Don Jazzy again!
Every time I see you girly
Hey! Don Jazzy again!

[Wande Coal]
Every time I see you girl, you dey turn me on
If I no fit get you girl, I no go carry on
Pass me the paper, pass the crayon
Make I put your sexy body in-a there on
Girl, you’re one in a million
The only one fish in my aquarium
Baby girl, don’t you think that I’m very young
Age no be nothing but a number
Cos I’m-a keep, keep lovin’ you girl
Never, no skip, skip lovin’ you girl
Don’t wanna be like other guys wey dey take advantage just dey…

[Chorus]
Use you play (ten-ten)
Everyday (ten-ten)
Yesterday (ten-ten)
My love no be ten-ten
I no be small pickin oh
Trust me I no go use you play (ten-ten)
Everyday (ten-ten)
Yesterday (ten-ten)
My love no be ten-ten
I no be small pickin oh (x 2)

[Dr. Sid]
Every time I see you girl, see you girl
You give me everything that I like
If it’s wrong to be loving you girl, loving you girl
Then I don’t wanna be right, eh
Cos you’re my generator when they take light
I go dey shout: “Up NEPA!” if you say you’ll be my wife
Na you dey bring joy to my life
If you offer me a chance you know I no go think am twice
Cos the boys dey wish for your loving
If it’s me you’re giving your loving
I’ll never be that guy who tries to take advantage to dey…

Repeat Chorus

[K-Switch]
B-b-bend down!
See, what you want girl, albeit it be drop-top
And a penthouse just to keep you on top
Bangles ‘pon da wrist them look like handcuff
Me money pile up from here to Bangkok
(Ladies!) you a fi need the man that strong like Hancock
By your side, at your back and even on top
Girl you look nice and your style is so top
(And me can’t shout) but me money can talk
When we walk, by your side me chest me pump up
When you go down on me, me always jump up
Salvatore, Ferragamo, Gucci, Louis Vuitton
That’s why me a fi sing this song

Repeat Chorus

(D’Prince is here!)

[D’Prince]
What’s D’Prince got to do just to get with you
Don’t necessarily mean I wanna sleep with you
I’m in need of a Princess and I think it’s you
Hmm… hmm… hmm… hmm… hmm… hmm… hmm…
I don’t need to ask my friends what they think of you
I see my future wife when I look at you
See I love you from your head to your Jimmy Choo’s
I’ma kiss you even if you’ve got the flu
See I’ve got what it takes to make your life easy
You know what it is, the Prince of ephizzie
Never gonna see me flirting on TV, believe me
I’m not deceiving
I’m never gonna…
Never gonna…

Repeat Chorus X 2

Instruments till Fade…

Lyrics © Mo’ Hits All Stars & Mo’ Hits Records 2008

Hiatus Interruptus…

... which if my Catechism Latin serves me well, should stand for “a break in the Break” - or basically, “stop sitting down on your ass and get back to work, you” - and not the other kind of interruptus some of y’all were thinking it was.

And to think I was actually going to call this post “Return of the Mac” until I realised I didn’t have one… A Mac that is…

Don’t know how many noticed but things have been MAD/MENTAL/CRAZY of late on my blogs so much so that I was forced to put everything on lock-down. I wasn’t even going to discuss it, I just wanted to leave quietly but a whole lot of drama has gone on behind the scenes. Suffice it to say, I’ve re-opened for business and I’m still hanging around. I was down but definitely not out.

Second long story short, the love of my life a.k.a. my PC crashed many weeks back meaning I’ve been unable to do updates or a whole lot of other meaningful stuff for a while. It drove me crazy but she’s in a partially fair state of health now. What really annoyed me was that despite the on-going recession and lack of salaried employment, I’ve had to shelve out a lot of money for her resuscitation. Honestly, you don’t want to know how much I spent, unless - that is - you intend to help me out with a refund or an external Hard Disk to recover my backup.

My friend Woomie has been telepathically beating me up to update so… I just had to do this: GOSH!!! I HAVE MISSED YOU GUYS!!!

Of course I’ve been managing to do blog paroles but it’s a whole different thing altogether having to type out each URL instead of consulting my Links/Bookmarks. And worse, I couldn’t save anything for offline reading which I really love doing, but what pissed me off was queuing up with all those Y.Y. boys Rayo once talked about and jostling to use lousy Ice Age café PCs packed chockfull of viruses and outdated plug-ins.

Anyways, I’m back… and hmm… where do I start? Let me just roam along on this one writing it up as I go.

LEFT 2 WRITE…
Speaking of writing, I’ve got loads to do. First, the concluding parts of my other blog posts are still waiting to be written and I just hope the sequels are any bit as good when I get to post them by next week. (By the way, someone left a comment saying I reminded her of Carlang. You guys just keep astounding me. That’s the greatest compliment I’ve received so far. Thanks Miz-Cynic!)

Then there’s a review of Wande Coal’s Mushin2Mo’ Hits album and Kefee’s A Piece of Me to tackle and I’m also trying my hand at a Book Review. After that I’ll have to script a multi-part serialization x-raying the Nigerian music industry partly in view of the current NBC ban on certain music videos plus a critical look at my favourite entertainment medium: the TV.

Star Quest went by during my absence but I think I can still cook up something on that. Then one of my best Dance reality shows, Malta Guinness Street Dance Africa has begun hitting the silver screen already. I’ve got to say this here: Naija peeps are definitely talented when it comes to all sorts of dancing.

Project Fame West Africa comes up in a short bit and I intend to stay glued to that but sadly I’ll be missing Koko Mansion since the reality show’s exclusive to HiTV and honestly, not even D’Banj justifies a cable subscription in these trying economic times. I just hope they maintain a good web presence so I can follow it up online or even better, license other TV stations to show the delayed-broadcast editions (hope Tony Subair, Don Jazzy and the Koko Master himself are listening).

Lastly on entertainment, the 2009 Hip Hop World Awards came up on Saturday, 16th May with the nominees trying to grab our attention beforehand via their blogs and FB status messages. One mild surprise was Omawumi carting away the Next Rated and Best Female Vocalist awards leaving behind acts like Djinee, Niki Laoye and Wajeh. For a full list of the Award winners and celeb pictures, you can check out Linda Ikeji’s blog while Tosyn Bucknor’s and Banky W’s gave some very interesting Behind-the-Scene gists. One thing that really stumped me was that the HHWA website didn’t have any of the above information on its webpages until way AFTER the bloggers had put up theirs!!! Very BIG banana peel…

HHWA photos courtesy LindaIkeji.blogspot.com and WeRunThings.net

Plus Some Random Blogville/FB Stuvvs
Ok, quite a lot has been going on in my absence but let me mention a few that pained me like shege. First on my list, what’s up with Doug’s blog? Got a notification that he’d updated but when I eventually checked it out, poof! The blog had disappeared into virtual smoke! Wetin dey? Is it what I’m thinking? If anyone gets in touch, please tell him to holler ASAP, will ya? And DB, can you please be a good boy and explain the whereabouts of your previously padlocked post?

Oh, then some good news: our Laide’s got a boyfriend! Bad news: It isn’t me. I swear, that post broke my heart to pieces then gathered the pieces and smashed them to even smaller pieces, I was so sad I didn’t eat for all of 3 hours. Nevertheless, I’m really glad for her, honest. Same goes for Vera. Just two things for me to do now: (1) re-focus my glasses and (2) go cast my net elsewhere…

Is it me or does it seem like a cliquish thing is going around Blogville? I haven’t really been able to savour the full flavour of The African Women blog (no thanks to dumb Lagos ISPs) but recently I stumbled upon another group of African bloggers doing their thing literally via movie reviews. Would have loved to join but I’ve got a lot on my plate already…

Now to the really happier bits, I enjoyed reading Rita’s interview with StandTall. I was actually planning to kick-start an Interview segment on my blog by having a chat with our Activist but the gentleman in me let Rita snag it. Yeah, right… More interviews are still in the pipeline nonetheless, so do watch out for that maybe next month.

Blogville aside, I attended the kick-off of the most blogged about literary event, The 9 Writers Book Tour at WA 7 and I must say I was mighty impressed (even better, the event started and ended on time too). You writers are such smart lot! To show how affected I was, I bought a book - definitely helped by the fact that the authoress was good-looking. Borrowing Seye’s lingo, I also un-met Rayo there since she and none of the bloggers I knew eventually showed up. Dante was present but somehow we didn’t meet either. You can read up his reportage of the book tour here.

I’m eagerly anticipating my next Arts meet but another event I’m also looking forward to will hold this time via Facebook. It’s called The Drive and though the destination details are sketchy, it’s basically a road adventure holding on May 29th. Now it’s been a long time since I had adventure, I’m sincerely praying I’ll be around for that one. As for the Sundays At The Bay event, Laide’s chronicle of the April edition, especially the boat capsizing bit has succeeded in “drowning” my enthusiasm. If you use FB, I’m sure you can search for details of both events on the site.

And speaking of Facebook, I’m seriously contemplating its importance to me right now. I seem to be spending too much time on it and moreover, nowadays every teenager, Y.Y. boy and their dog seem to be signing up and popping me with their Friend Requests. Imagine wanting to be my “friend” just because we share the same very common last name? On the flip side, I got into a lyrical battle with someone just because I said Sasha’s sexy and he disagreed. Anyway, I verbally assaulted the guy real bad and won but it’s not as if I’m proud of it seeing as he has to go and majorly diss my FB profile picture. But hey, I never said I was an Adonis, right?

So how’s this for rambling? I’ve got to stop now… Have a gazillion comments to drop plus my blog rounds to resume, certain strong blogging resolutions to be made, a couple of CVs and e-mails to send, stuff to reply to and then Facebook…

So to summarise, even though I didn’t really go anywhere, IT FEELS GOOD TO BE BACK!!!

Gosh!!! I’ve missed you guys! Did I say that before?

B & P 10: Aging Presenters, Music Blogs & Definitions

Hollywood, Ko… True Love, Ni… (in mixed English)
This is Naughty Eyes reporting live from the Hollywood Hills in California… OK, let me cut out the crap. I am really in Lagos (I’m loving this entertainment capital of Naija sha. With a well-positioned TV antenna, a generator and a gossipy neighbourhood, who really needs cable TV?)
So why did I start off with the California bit? Well, I saw an edition of Kenny and Dayo’s Primetime Africa show on TV recently where the (aging) presenters decided to showcase the video of Kelly Hansome’s True Love. Contrary to certain opinions, me and Kelly Bros no get wahala. Na Keke and D-1 dey vex me this time.
According to the duo, the said video was shot quote, in the Hollywood Hills in California and features the beautiful Nollywood actress, Stephanie Okereke, unquote. Na so I just balance well-well hoping to see my ex-fantasy babe play love with KH on TV. Instead Keke and D-1 just fall my hand seriously.

Guys! C’mon!! Since when did shooting a video somewhere in Enugu or wherever and adding external video clips showing aerial views of Hollywood equals to shooting the music video in Hollywood? Even me wey never go Film school sef sabi the editing trick them use for the video. Stop playing with our intelligence abeg!
To even spoil matters more, the much-touted Stephanie Okereke’s appearance consists of inserted footage from one of her recent movies, not that she featured in the music video per se! Nothing actually concerns her and Kelly Hansome in that video.
Ironically I’m really feeling Kelly Hansome on that track but to further add sand-sand to the garri, some people are accusing Kelly Boy of borrowing heavily from two of Tuface Idibia’s tracks: True Love and If Love Is A Crime. And annoyingly, KH never seems to be able to do a song without resisting the mention of Control Numbers in the lyrics.
To the Primetime “twins”, I did say this before: If your artiste doesn’t have enough money to shoot in the United States or UK or them no gree grant una visa, kindly try the cheaper South Africa option (you can ask Bigiano). This “Cut and Paste” no be am oh so you guys abeg, kindly drop the pretences and just let us enjoy good music videos, OK?

MI + HIPHOP = MUSIC
No, this isn’t Complex Algebra 101. It’s just an addition to the small but growing roll-call of A-list celeb Naija bloggers.
That’s right! MI a.k.a. Jude Abaga launched his blog a while back and it really looks promising with the 411 on his interviews, magazine covers, future shows and album launches.
MI’s foray into blogging is yet another acknowledgement of the fact that entertainers nowadays need to connect with their fans one-on-one and not just be content with album launches, shows and Radio and magazine interviews.
Here’s hoping that he has the momentum to keep up with his blogging even after his miishiphop.com website is launched which he says will come fully on-stream anytime soon.
Speaking of his albums, expect as many lyrics to his Talk About It album as you want (better yet, request any of them and I’ll put it up for you) and a review of Illegal Music once I can lay my hands on it. You can click on the link above to scope the blog out or check out our new “Groupie Love Section” blogroll on the right.

NotJustOK
The definition of “NotJustOK” on their blog says it all and these guys sure are nothing close to the ordinary. Co-run by Mola G and Ovie O. a.k.a. *O.O*, this Typepad-hosted blog (as far as I can tell) showcases the newest joints from artistes mostly of Nigerian origin and it’s not just about the songs either because you even get to see album covers, artistes’ wallpapers and photos and watch the latest videos as soon as they drop!
How these guys get their stuff hot off the press and manage to update everyday really beats my imagination and on the strength of this alone they deserved to have won at the NBAs if it had a purely music blog category. Methinks they ought to run a cable channel of their own or something!
They also have a Facebook presence too so if you’re an FB fan, you can chill out with these guys there.
One trial will surely convince you and after that you’ll never settle for anything that’s JustOK…

Something To Add To Your Dictionary
It’s official! I’m bored… Here are the latest entries in the Blogville Dictionary of Online Ninglish (pirated copy)

1. ne-mes-me-rize:
Main Entry: nemesmerize
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form: - ized; -iz-ing
Derived From: charizing [Origin: Temite (I think…)]
Date: 2008

Definition: 1. to subject to nemesmerism
2. nemesmerism - to give exclusive mention to a blog, blogger, media, event or extra fly website on the Media Nemesis blog

Application: If I grant exclusive mention to you in a post, then consider yourself nemesmerized!

2. LMYO (or any other such derivations):
Main Entry: LMYO
Function: verb
Inflected Form: ROTFLMYO; ROTFLMYOPIMP
Derived From: Woomie’s comments [Origin: Qube (I think…)]
Date: 2009

Definition: 1. L(aughing) M(y) Y(ansh) O(ff)
Application: (Commenting after reading this hilarious post) ROTFLMYOPIMPKTFWTFME

Ok parry people, it’s time to go. In the words of a certain Ure’s estranged husband, “I sign out now!” as I go looking for something more serious to blog about.

XOXO (whatever that means…)

PS: Special shout outs to Olowo (for giving me the 411 to the M.I. blog via her “Followers” section) and to SSD (for the NotJustOK connection through her “Nigeria vs. The African Continent” music series). It’s remarkable the ways we run into some very magnificent blogs through other bloggers, don’t you think?

PPS: (Ever expanding) list of bloggers who previously had no idea what “PS” means: Afrobabe and Buttercup… At least they were gracious enough to admit it! By the way, Afrobabe’s terrorist post cracked me up like mad especially her efforts at dodging MI5. Who would have thought that behind all that sexiness lay a natural comedienne!

PPPS: I going to give 5 million Pounds sterling (Biafran) to whosoever can tell me the meaning of ROTFLMYOPIMPKTFWTFME. And yes, LG, you may use a Lifeline…

My Life’s Soundtrack - Play Ball

No, it’s not what you think. I am actually so not feeling the E.P.L. As a matter of fact, Lord knows I wouldn’t give a hoot if all the EPL teams were to morph into Agriculture clubs what with the way certain adult males (and females nowadays) run around shouting “Up Blues!” “Red Devils!” “You’ll never walk alone!” like demented kids championing their kindergarten sports houses. However in this unique wonderful track - which is my current ringtone, by the way - the talented musician Faze compares his feelings for a girl with the current fan craze for international football. With its distinctive Pidgin English lyrics, this song is the most perfect blend of Highlife horns, Reggae / Dancehall beats and Calypso-influenced steel drums I’ve ever heard. Faze is just too much! Too bad he didn’t mention Enyimba FC though…

Track: Play Ball (from the Album “Originality”)
Artiste: Faze
Transcribed by: Naughty Eyes

[Intro]
J. Sleek. (Hey!)
She dey play ball oh! (Hey!)
And she dey score goal oh!
For my heart-y oh!
And she dey give them kolo (echo)

Verse 1
(Gunners) Na you be my Arsenal for life oh
My true love no be joke, you be my wife oh
(Barca) Barcelona, you too tight oh
Etoo be Number 1, my left and right oh
(Man U.) If you be Man U., I go marry you
You be Red Devil, that’s why I gbadun you
(Chelsea) Chelsea, I too cherish you
(Up Blues, Up Blues!) You dey play no be small, I dey feel you
If you be Marseille oh, I say you dey play well
If she be Bayern Munich, I say you too unique
If she be PSG, Roma, Bonn and Lyon
You dey play well oh

[Chorus]
She dey play ball oh!
For my heart-y oh!
She dey score goal oh!
For my heart-y oh!
She dey give them kolo (echo)
She dey dribble them oh!

[Verse 2]
If you be Liver… (Liverpool), Pires you dey give me goose pimples
(You dey give me liver)
Juventus, you be Champion, lai-lai, you no go lose
(You dey make them shiver)
If you be Real Madrid, I say you too real
If she be AC Milan, you’re my Number 1 fan
If she be Inter Milan, baby I’m your main man
She dey play ball oh, you dey play ball oh
Newcastle, no ball without you
If she be Portsmouth oh, I say you get mouth
If she be Bolton oh, if she be Everton oh, and Tottenham oh
She dey tor-tory me oh (Ehn!)

Repeat Chorus

[Bridge]
Omo, na red card oh / omo, na yellow card oh / Referee, no do us ojoro /
I say na penalty oh / I say na offside oh / na Hand of God oh /
I say na free kick oh / E go knack goal oh / I say na corner kick oh /
I say na half time oh / I say na over the bar oh /
Na so! Oya, kick am! Play am! Score am!

Repeat Chorus

[Bridge 2]
Oya, kick the ball, nod the ball, chest the ball (Sangalo!)
Ok, kick the ball, nod the ball, trap the ball (Sangalo!)
Oya, kick the ball, nod the ball, chest the ball (Sangalo!)
Kick the ball, nod the ball, trap the ball (Sangalo!)

[Whistle to signal end of Game…]

Lyrics © 2008 Faze & Independent Entertainment

Mission Impossible For Mr. Incredible?

Album Review

Artiste: M.I.
Album: Talk About It (64 mins 23 secs)
Producers: Audu Maikori (Executive Producer),
Jude “MI” Abaga, Jesse “Jesse Jagz” Abaga, Kraft
Label: Chocolate City Music
Released: December 2008
Reviewed: 20th December 2008

The Intro: December 16th, 2008. Location: Ile-Ife, Osun State. These weren’t exactly the friendliest of times to be walking around a town that had experienced multiple bank robberies barely 24 hours ago. To make matters worse, this writer had on an all-black attire and carried a knapsack. Several policemen looked at him suspiciously as he trudged the streets asking questions. The Mission? To get a copy of the recently released Talk About It CD.

Those happened to be the circumstances under which I went looking for M.I. a.k.a. Jude Abaga’s over-hyped and highly anticipated album. Unfortunately, it almost turned out to be a Mission Impossible most likely because Osun State had absolutely no part in the album anticipation whatsoever. After walking up and down Ife I could only find one stained copy of the album and you can trust my Ibo cronies! The guy, banking on my desperation and tiredness, sold it for me for N150 instead of the regular 100 bucks! (The CD is now readily available in almost every part of the country).

The cover design aside (which by the way, was unimpressive probably because I’d seen a very artsy pre-release version); in popped the CD as I awaited Naija’s self-proclaimed lyrical messiah to take me to the Afro/Hip-Hop promised land. One quick spin and I must say I was fairly disappointed at first.

Ok, hold up! Before you M.I. fans tear me apart, hear me out. For one, Talk About It is an 18-tracker album made up of 13 full tracks and 5 skits inclusive of Thank You’s. FIVE skits! Hmmm… That number of intervals in a CD can - if not well handled - turn into a distraction rather than an interesting diversion.

The first, An Outrageous Intro Starring The President can be roughly termed pre-election Arnold Schwarzenegger meets post-election Yar’ Adua. Some people might find the commando-President dialogue amusing but it does step a bit too close to overkill (no pun intended). A slight correction too…Did the album drop on the December 1 launch date or September 1 as the Intro says?

After that comes Anoti, MI’s lyrical proclamation featuring Gabriel on the Yoruba-influenced hook. It’s obvious that Anoti, which some say contains lyrics from Feel E - another MI track - has a hook meant to appeal to South-Western listeners whose followership can actually make or break an album (some other artistes like Timaya on the other hand didn’t include Yoruba on their sold-out debut albums). One good point: I like the “Anoti, Anoti” chant in the song even without knowing its meaning.

MI also commands ALL the respect I can give him here especially towards the end of each verse when he spits out his attributes Twista-style. His soft-spoken lyrical flow makes this Mister Incredible, Most Immaculate Mic Inspector, MC Interrogator, Music Innovator, Mankind Illustrator knock me out flat with his rapid fire yet ice-cold wordplay.

The L Boogie skit that comes next is unnecessary except that it probably ushers in the beat for Track 4, Short Black Guy. (And meanwhile, who really is L Boogie? A Nigerian male Lauryn Hill?) SBG which is rendered in a mellow, almost whisper-mode still delivers the cold style MI has successfully made his.

Pype, notorious on Sasha’s Strong Thing single teams up with the son of the Evangelist on Teaser, a song with a lively beat. Another favourite of mine, my only beef with Teaser stems from the fact that the instrumentals and Pype’s patois delivery sometimes overlap MI’s rap lines making them difficult for me at least to grasp. A very small price to pay for a great song though.

Talk About It which happens to be the title track of the CD is basically MI’s crusade against The System. Featuring Leony, repeated syllables at the end of the bars, a silly-sounding yet delightful hook and a very professional bangin’ instrumental, this song achieves its aim as a title track as Jude “talks about it”, critically drawing our attention to the current corrupt nature of things. As Jude himself says, we dey feel you, guy!

But the real attention-grabber is the diss track, Safe. Apart from the subtle and sometimes open lyrical bashing he gives certain MC’s by borrowing, incorporating and working their lines into his lyrics, even the hook of this song can be interpreted as a subtle diss. Just hide the album cover and ask anyone around listening to guess who featured on the hook and 9 times out of 10, you’ll get the answer “Tuface”. Wrong! Djinee’s impersonation of Tuface in the hook and adlibs seems as if to rub in the fact that Tuface’s freelance style doesn’t quite require talent.

The skit before track 9 (Blaze) tagged Random Guy Buying Blaze From Dodgy Guy is avoidable still and its novelty wears off quickly. Enough said. Blaze itself features MI, his brother Jesse Jagz (another very good lyricist), Ice Prince and the female rapper, Blaise. The rap lines are way tight as usual but putting Blaise’s line towards the end with the tempo slowed down weakens the strength of her delivery and makes her inclusion unfortunately, look like an afterthought. Throwing her smack dab in the middle of the lyrical battle would have enforced her standing as a rapper equal with her male contemporaries instead of the condescending effect achieved by her seemingly slowed-down lines.

On Area, MI features his 9th guest artiste, YQ. This song, despite its fine points, does sound “commercial” - a CD track filler. Fast Money, Fast Cars which comes next chronicles the life of a high-class street-walker and features a complex beat courtesy of Kraft (Mode 9’s sidekick?) and yet another Yoruba-influenced hook by Wizkid. MI’s message in the lyrics comes across very clearly even through the forest of name-dropping. As he says towards the end, “Ashawo na ashawo no matter what you drive / You can spend your life to get money / But you can’t spend money to buy life”. Of all the songs in this CD, this one hits home hardest.

A Short Discussion On The Situation of Things By Two Yoruba Women is exactly that. The title of this skit apart from being the longest says it all actually. This by far is the best skit and despite the fact that the entire conversation is carried out in Yoruba, one still gets the sense of what is being said. Moreover, it works very well as an Intro to Money, MI’s reflections on his growing-up experiences and his efforts to make that stash. The million dollar rhetorical question asked in the simple hook is a question everyone asks almost every day: Where money dey go?

My undisputed fav song in the entire album is Forever, a love track complete with smooth, silky blends of Hip-hop and R&B vocals with an engaging drum-centric instrumental. I could write a whole review of this song alone but I won’t. It’s my BEST, period!

After that comes the predictable religious tribute Jehovah though there’s nothing typical about this starting from the beautiful recitation of Psalm 23 in the beginning, MI’s flow and the Eben and Lindsey chorus. Jehovah apart from the sincerity and depth in the message still goes to show that religious isn’t necessarily synonymous with dull. MI would mos’ def succeed as a Gospel-rap artiste if he fully toed that line.

Depth and sincerity are also evident in Hustle, a clarion call of sorts to all hustlers to “run for us, run” and even though it means getting that H-1 visa, he still urges them to eventually return because “if you don’t come back, what good have you done?” The only thing wrong with this song is its position in the playlist as it seems a bit misplaced (to my musical ear) sitting just after Jehovah. I can’t really tell what it is but the continuity effect in the CD gets lost here somehow. Well, if you have a problem with that, just use your shuffle button.

Then the Thank You’s and Ova Ish… I don’t know about you but I always let this play to the end like as if it was a full track of its own. The instrumental to “Jehovah” and the way MI takes time out to thank everybody (well, almost) while still introducing two more of his future musical projects does it for me. Novel. The way I listen to it continuously, you’d think I was expecting him to thank me on the track!

And finally, Crowd Mentality. Most people use this track as a pointer to who MI is. When I heard MI was releasing a CD, I actually said, “Oh, isn’t he that guy who sang “Crowd Mentality”? What can I say about this track that hasn’t been said already? If you’re still unsure, you can even check out the dopest lyrics ever here. If Hip-hop was a national anthem, this track is definitely one of its stanzas. I would still buy the CD even if this was the only song on it.

As an aside, it’s quite interesting the descriptive way M.I. captions his skits but my media player/MP3 converter didn’t find the lengthy full-sentence filenames funny. Never since Mya’s If You Died I Wouldn’t Cry (‘Cos I Never Loved You Anyway) have I seen song titles this long. Had to re-name one of them, “A Short Discussion” before my converter would have anything to do with it...

After the hour-plus experience that is Talk About It, is this album really worth talking to people about? I’ve got just one thing to say: What kind of question is that anyway?

If you are into Hip-hop and still haven’t gotten it, then you must have been drinking some cheap stuvvs. So what if this review pointed out a few flaws? If I had to appraise all the fine points of this album, each song would be a whole new post of its own. After this CD, I’m totally convinced I’ll be buying his “Illegal Music” and “One” projects whenever they drop.

Remember that Media player/MP3 converter I talked about earlier? I used it to convert my own copy of this album for my PC, my phone and my media player meaning that no matter where I am, anytime of the day, MI’s tracks keep blasting in my ears. I’ve got lots of music but only one other CD has that distinction.

MI’s got it down cold! This album is dope! This Abaga’s album fully deserves a 9 out of 10. Now go talk about it.

This review is done… One!

Additional Resources:
www.myspace.com/pyeriboy
http://www.chocolatecitymusic.com
www.miishiphop.blogspot.com

Esquire's dish

I’m in trouble! Ye! Mogbe o!

Public service announcement: Due to the large amount of questions thrown at esquire, he has suffered a cardiac arrest.

Well, I almost did (suffer a heart attack). Do you blame me? How am I supposed to answer all those questions? I have never been so questioned in my life! It’s like being on the hot seat, a really hot one this time around!

Well, after drinking like 20 cups, sorry, jugs of water, I managed to recuperate myself. As a sharp boy, I have decided to pull a smart one on ya’ll. The answer to all (yes, all) your questions are: ALL OF THE ABOVE!

There. I’m done. Or are you still reading? Which kain trouble be this na? NE, you’re a fool for this one! I’m never going to forgive you! Just when I thought of going on a hiatus, you decided you will fast-forward it by linking me with this ish.

Anyways, what’s a man to do than to be a man? I have decided to stand up to the challenge and answer your questions, though it may not be as witty as that of those two. (Yes, those two! They pulled a conspiracy stunt on me and left me to bear my cross all along) I’m not use to writing stylishly or in a way that will make ya’ll laugh and I know I’ve been doing a bad job already on this post but please bear with me.

Buttercup: (1) What prompted you guys to, uh, join forces? (2) Did you meet on blogville? (3) Are y'all in relationships at the moment?

Esquire: (1) Its joblessness! Or what do you think will make three young vibrant minds to come together and rant about the Nigeria media they so know nothing about? Its joblessness! That, or they are just trying to be relevant! Who cares about what they say? The Nigeria media will do what they like, however they like. Is it today that people start to talk? They are just singing “le fenu so” for us. Whew! I’m crazy right? Yeah, I know! It’s just the way I now feel about it all. Sorry if I bored you. (2) Yeah, we meet on blogville or rather he discovered me and just decided to stick with me for no reason that I can see! He’s the brother I wish I had on blogville. (3) No. Only Wo answered this question correctly, NE was just blabbering about his being single. I said no because only I and NE talk regularly and I’ve met him twice. Wo and I only talked on the phone once and that was the end, like it never happened. She’s ignoring me, I’m ignoring her. Simple.

LG: Happy blog-versary! The funny thing is mine’s also this month so that makes us ….?

Esquire: Ajo lepo niyen! (Translation: we are joined together then). Lol!

AlooFar: How would you like to save the world?

Esquire: I be Superman? I begi! On a more serious note, it’s not possible to save the world. That is like the only thing that is not possible in this world! Yes, to save it! Even God Himself cannot save us. We are His greatest mystery. He still can’t believe He created us. He is still experimenting with us; marveling at our twists and turns everyday; wondering what other foolish thing we can do. But he is the all-knowing God. He had predicted we could go out of hand, that’s why he planned a rescue mission for mankind – Annihilation!

Danny Bagucci: What one thing do you think if you changed about your world would make the most difference?

Esquire: JAMB question! Answer: My social status. I like myself, I like who I be. I like how/who God created me. I am a humble and nice person, self-gratifications apart. I would remain the same if I am a little richer than this.

Seye: (1) I see you have deleted a question. Was it a bad question? (2) If you had one wish…I WISH! What would it be? (3) What exactly keeps you going in the blog-o-cycle?

Esquire: (2) I wish I had super-powers, all sort of super-powers you could ever think of. It’ll be fun! (3) What got me started in the first place. I like writing. I like seeing my writings published. It gives me joy. Even if y’all don’t read or leave comments on my blog, I just like to publish my thoughts.

Solomon Sydelle: SERIOUS question… Shortbread or Okin Biscuit?

Esquire: I remember OKIN biscuit. Back in the days, when I was primary school, OKIN was the favorite. We were still eating OKIN during early high school days until Haansbro came with their kill-all-classics brand. So, OKIN is out of it, I’ll just settle with Shortbread.

Laide “Ex-schoolnerd”: Don’t know what to ask… here goes nothing. Are you happy?

Esquire: At the moment, yes. That’s because I am writing this.

SpicyTee: (1) How old are you? (2) What are you wearing now? (3) What makes you tick? (4) Why do you write so lengthy? (5) Where is the party?

PS: No story oh….

Esquire: (1) A lil above franchise (2) Shorts or as we call it here, boxers (3) Another JAMB question. You know what JAMB questions are? They are questions only JAMB can answer by themselves! Can you please define ‘tick’? (4) NE answered this suitably (5) www.medianemesis.blogspot.com

Ps: your questions are quirky.

Vera: (1) What is the inspiration for your name? (2) Describe a beautiful woman. What would she look like? What would she act like? What would she sound like? (3) What would you rather have: a big wedding & a short honeymoon OR a small wedding & lengthy honeymoon? (4) Who do you like better: Beyonce or Jennifer Hudson?

Esquire: (1) I adopted Esquire because I like its semantic form. However, esquire describes me - a gentleman. (2) My favorite question! A beautiful woman is one who has all the right features, in the right places, at the right proportion. Forget virtues, I’m down for looks... and features! If you are beautiful, you are beautiful. You can’t fake it. (3) It’s all-of-the-above for this question jare. I want both big wedding and lengthy honeymoon. We’ll be gone till November baby! (4) Beyonce… because I have a crush on her! Add Mary J. Blige and Ashanti and Alicia Keys to the list. But sentiments apart, like Wo said, Beyonce and Jenny aint mates, even Rihanna can’t be ranked next to B.

Rayo: Have you had or do you have serious blog crushes? Name them please…?

Esquire: Woomie O! It’s official! Do you blame me? You shouldn’t! I’m 19, she is 19. I’m single, she is ….? We are both the youngest doing this (or so I think). It’s only logical to be …? I didn’t say anything o, before you start getting ideas. But it’s just what it is – a non-serious blog crush (if there is anything like that).

Esquire: Questions please.

Since there's no more questions, I'm out!