Monday, August 24, 2009

My Life’s Soundtrack – More

It is rather unusual for me to label a song as MLS when I’m not really impressed with it and this song almost suffered a sad fate when I first heard it. It took some time (and continuous replay) to grow on me but I’m glad it did. The upbeat tempo midway into the song plus the video helped as well!
More was the second single off Darey’s unDAREYted album and the South African-shot video features a club-dance floor sequence/mystery lady/time-travel concept interpreted with the transition of dance steps, hair-do, costumes, vehicle and photographic equipment all the way from retro to present. This - in my opinion - is a splendid example of how music videos’ storyboards should be done. Enjoy!

Track: More (Track 5 from the album unDAREYted)
Artiste: Darey Art Alade
Transcribed by: Naughty Eyes

[Verse 1]
Jump in the car and drive out of my home
I ain’t gonna spend my Friday night alone
I step into the club and near the microphone
There’s a pretty young lady dancing on her own
So I say lady the way you move it, I know you know you got it
Lady the way you move it, you make me wanna have it
Lady the way you move your sexy body
There’s just one thing I wanna know

Can you shake your body more, more girl
I need some more, more girl
Can you touch my body more, more girl
I still want more, more girl

[Verse 2]
4:25 and still we’re on the floor
All of your girlfriends left the club at four
I am pretty sure that by now your feet are sore
But I really can’t help it girl, I still want more
So I say lady the way you shake it, you make me wanna take it
Lady the way you shake it, it’s like you’re gonna break it
Lady the way you shake your sexy body
There’s just one thing I need to know

[Repeat Chorus]

Uh baby, tell me if you’re ready to go down girl with me
‘Cos I’m ready to go with you
Baby shake your body more and more and more
Tell me if you’re ready to go down girl with me
‘Cos I’m ready to go with you
Baby shake your body more and more and more

[Repeat Chorus]

Yeah, yeah, yeah (more girl)
Can you touch my body (yeah, yeah)
Can you touch my body more girl

[Repeat Chorus]

Instrumentals till Fade...

Lyrics © 2009 Darey Art Alade & SOUL Muzik

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

My Life’s Soundtrack - No Stars

The second track I’m posting off Darey’s unDAREYted album is actually a themed and cinematic sequel to the previous one, Not The Girl I posted earlier. As can be expected, the video styles are similar and the locations just like before but this time the lyrics in my opinion are deeper.
Great work from Darey. But I’ll let you be the judge…

Track: No Stars (Track 4 from the album unDAREYted)
Artiste: Darey Art Alade
Transcribed by: Naughty Eyes

[Verse 1]
No stars in the sky
Makes me wonder why
I’m still gazing...
I’ve done all I know to do
And there’s still no sign of you
Are you coming soon?
Now I’m staring out the window
But the waiting’s just begun
And all I see is shadows
Even though I see the sun


You took away my sunshine
And I want it back
You took my star from the sky
And I want it back
You took away my sunshine
And I want it back
You can only give it to me
When you come back home… home… home

[Verse 2]
There’s a picture on my chair
Like you’re sitting there
Can I sit with you?
I can hear you when you call
Like you never left at all
Should I answer you?
I’m still staring out the window
Wishing you’d be passing by
But all I see is shadows
As the memories pass me by

[Chorus x 2]

You could only give it to me…

No stars in the sky
Makes me wonder why
I’m still gazing...

Lyrics © 2009 Darey Art Alade & Soul Muzik

Friday, August 14, 2009

My Life’s Soundtrack - Not The Girl

Move over M.I.! Yeah, the Pyeri boy sure ruled MLS two months back but this time my soundtracks for the month will be taken from the latest album of yet another talented male R & B / Hip-hop / Fuji vocalist who goes by the name Dare Art Alade. One thing I love about him? There is only ONE DAREY, no imitation! Let’s ride as I kick-off this month with his Cobhams Asuquo-assisted Hip-Hop World Awards-nominated single…

Track: Not The Girl (Track 3 from the album unDAREYted)
Artiste: Dare "Da-rey" Art Alade
Transcribed by: Naughty Eyes

You’re not the girl I used to know
You’re a shadow of yourself
I think I lost you long ago
Like a book that’s left the shelf
I hear the footsteps down the hall
And I know someday that will be you leaving me for good

[Verse 1]
I’ve been sitting here for two straight hours watching you asleep
Wishing I could talk to you
There is no denying we both have emotions running deep
Oh if I could talk to you
‘Cos I’m scared, ‘cos when I try to take your hand you are not there
Even though I see the signs you think I’m just scared
Give me one reason why I should hide my fears
When it’s killing me inside…

[Repeat Chorus]

[Verse 2]
We have been together for so long you seem a part of me
Just how did this all go wrong?
And you say you gave to me your best just to make it work
But just how did this all go wrong?
‘Cos I try, see my eyes are empty from all the tears I cried
Since this perfect love is hardly satisfied
Give me one reason why I should hide my tears
When it’s killing me inside…

[Repeat Chorus]

Hmm… And if I ever come across a girl like you again
I don’t know if I will let my emotions show
I’ll just look the other way
I don’t care what you might say
‘Cos I’m not so sure how much of this
My poor heart can take

[Repeat Chorus x 3]


Lyrics © 2009 Darey Art Alade, Cobhams Asuquo & SOUL Muzik

Saturday, August 8, 2009


I am a lover of Nigerian music. Unlike some people (who prefer buying pirated compilation CDs), I buy original albums. If I like an artist, I go out and buy his/her album. One advantage of this I have discovered over the years is that there are some really good songs you won't hear on radio on a normal day.

For the last three years (when Naija music started gaining acceptance), I have been buying Naija CDs so much so that when you come across my collection, you would think I sell CDs. The following are the albums in my collection, if you can beat my record, let me know! You may have some albums I don’t but I have all the albums that matter!
Body and Soul – Plantashun Boiz (Who does not have this then?)
Plan B – Plantashun Boiz
Face2Face – 2Face Idibia
Grace2Grace – 2Face Idibia
Enter the place - 2Face Idibia
The unstoppable - 2Face Idibia
Independent – Faze
Originality - Face
Me, music and I – Blackface Naija
We be Da Natives – Da Natives
No long thing – D’banj
Run down/Funk you up - D’banj
The Entertainer - D’banj
Curriculum Vitae - D’banj and Mo’hits All Stars
Mushin2Mo’hits – Wande Cole
The Certificate – 9ice
Gongo Aso – 9ice
From me to you – Dare Art-Alade
The most un.darey.ted – Darey
Naija 007 – Sound Sultan
SS4 – Sound Sultan
Yahoozee! - Olu Maintain
E Plaribus Unum (One amongst many) – Mode 9
Pentium IX: The mixtape - Mode 9
The Paradigm Shift - Mode 9
Thy album come – Ruggedman
Ruggedy baba – Ruggedman
The King is back – eLDee
The rapman begins – Terry Tha Rapman
Money Long: The mixtape: Sauce Kid
Shock Therapy: The Minority Report – Rooftop MCs
Kalangolo – Frank D’Nero
Mr Capable – Banky W
Still on the matter – Da Grin
True story – Timaya
Second turning by the right - Lord of Ajasa
Game over - P Square
Free me – Terry G
Pin code: 9.10.11 – Sunny Neji
The Definition: DJ Jimmy Jatt
King of the Zanga – Durella
King Kong – Shank
You know my P – Naeto C
Dat Ibo Boy – Ill Bliss
Talk about it – M.I.
Life and times of Killz – Ikechukwu
Asha – Asa
Saxophone mood – Yemi Sax
Buga: Never say die – Jesse King
Africano: The mother of groove – Lagbaja
Paradise and Sharp Sharp – Lagbaja

Over the years, i discovered some similarities in my CDs; some major features which all almost always have in common. They include:

1. NUMBER OF TRACKS: The number of tracks on a regular Naija music album is between 9 and 11. Though nowadays, we see some hip-hop artistes having 18-22 songs on their albums. We have been made to know that what's responsible for the small number of tracks on Naija albums is not lack of creativity but a business strategy, since they'll make the same meagre sum from a 11-tracker that they will from a 22-tracker.

2. UNNECESSARY SKITS: From the 11 tracks in these albums, we find 2-3 drab and absolutely unnecessary skits in most Naija albums. I dare say that there are some really good, creative and interesting skits in some as well.

3. INSTRUMENTALS: It is only on a Naija album that you will find instrumentals i.e. the beat of a song. They like to include the instrumentals of their most popular songs in their albums. I don't know what they think, that maybe we like the songs insomuch that we listen to only the instrumentals? I mean, not all of us are DJs, are we? Methinks it is just to increase the number of tracks on their albums.

4. TRADITIONAL MUSIC: You will always find a traditional music on a Naija album. When I say traditional music, I mean songs done in the indigenous language of the artiste. Apart from normal English and Yoruba language (Yes, Yoruba because it's the official music language in Naija) Naija artistes sing in, they also have at least a track done in their purely indigenous language. Patriotism, you say?

5. THANK YOUs AND OVA ISH (apologies to M.I.): You are likely to find a song dedicated to God or to people who contributed to the artiste's success or both on a Naija album. As is common to all Nigerians, they allude to being God-fearing people when in fact, their actions says otherwise.

6. POLITICAL SONG/SOCIAL COMMENTARY: Politics is a favorite past-time of most Nigerians, whether they know sh!t or not. The political situation in the country gives Naija artistes something to sing about. And like they say, people learn a lot from the music they listen to. Naija artistes see themselves as role models to a lot of young people so they've taken it upon themselves to pass social commentaries once in a while (lets not forget that they are also responsible for majority of the slangs on the streets).

7. ALBUM ARTS: The CD jackets of Naija albums are always made of paper. The last time any one came with plastic, I haven't started buying. It is common to see some of the following on a Naija music album art:
1. Typographical errors.
2. Track mismatch.
3. Artistes showed putting on jewelry that's not real.
4. Websites that don't exist, either of the artiste, record label or marketer.
5. Marketer's name, phone number and office address.
6. Manager/Promoter's name and phone number.
7. Written appreciations/dedications apart from the song on the album.
8. Lyrics to some tracks on the album.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

In the spirit of Blogville

I don’t know if you’ve heard of him, but his work has touched my heart in a way that I may be able to describe –
But not now, that one is story for another day.
Adebanji Adeola Alade can make things beautiful with his pencil and paint brush.
Really beautiful.
Here’s the thing, I want (us) to do something for him in the spirit of blogville.
It’s something most of us have probably not heard about.
Adebanji has been shortlisted for the Great Britons competition again.
Last time, he finished fourth. The judges really like his stuff but the competition is purely a vote-and-win scenario.
If he wins, he'll get a chance to fulfill his dreams of visiting America to paint and sketch scences of New York that he has always imagined in his head.
People haven’t been voting, not because they don’t like his work, or they don’t care but because they haven’t even heard of it!
So, the judges have given him another chance and it’s a big challenge
For Adebanji
For bloggers
and finally Nigerians.
Since when do we ever carry last?
Adebanji Adeola Alade needs your votes, and it’s really simple, log in to Great Britons and create an account to vote.
If you think it’s a long thing, not to worry, you can vote with your Facebook account, just click on the Facebook icon you see on the page.
Please do what you can to make people know, here in blogville, a quick post with the link will do (esp for those of you that have run out of ideas on what to talk about and on Facebook with your status messages! And then on twitter!! And as many websites as possible. PLEASE GUYS!!!
He’s still 6th going by the last ratings, and in less than 5 days the results will be announced.
So what if he wins by a landslide sef? He’s Nigerian after all.
Let the campaign begin!!!

He needs over two thousand votes and I say ‘Yesss! We Can!!!!’

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

B & P 12: On HIV-AIDS awareness ads, D’banj and Tosyn Bucknor

HIV-AIDS awareness ads on radio
I will be frank with you; I am not cool with the HIV-AIDS awareness ads on our radio stations (and TV stations). Why is it that most of these ads are done by people living with the disease? Most of this people, in fact all of them, are either illiterates or half-illiterates who have some form of difficulty expressing themselves in English. And why are all the ads toeing the line of just getting people living with the disease to do an impromptu speech? Why can’t they prepare a more organized speech or get someone to write it for them or better still, get a well-meaning Nigerian to do the speech? In my opinion, using only low-class, unlearned people for these ads is inadvertently brandishing the disease as a poor-man disease, when in reality it can be contacted by the rich as well, especially those fun-loving, pleasure-seeking, promiscuous well-to-dos.

It all started with Kokolette, then it evolved into Babylette, Sisterlette, Mamalette and the like. He calls himself the Koko Master. D’banj must have realised the effect he is having on people with such connotations. Now he has created a brand out of it. The resulting products include Koko Water (even if it was a joke), Koko Mailer (another joke?) and Koko Mansion.

Talking of Koko Mansion, I have had several arguments with people who have been expressing a lot of negative things about the show. According to them, the show is going to feature all sort of unscrupulous things involving male and female. Talk about D’banj and the Mo’hits crew taking rounds to sleep with the girls. Can you believe that? Trust me, I gave them lot of reasons why the show will be very far from prurient and why he doesn‘t need a Koko Mansion before getting all the girls he wants. I also listened to a fellow artiste saying that D’banj is just trying to stay relevant instead of staying in retirement. Who thinks D’banj is in retirement? Why do we find it difficult to support creativity in this country? Now, for those of you that still does not know what Koko Mansion is all about, take this:

D'Banj aka the Koko Master is starting his own reality television show called the Koko Mansion, a programme geared towards exhibiting the true qualities of a marriageable African woman. Twelve young women (Kokolettes) live in the Koko mansion for eight weeks, where they will put to play the virtues of womanhood to please D'Banj. The show also features D'Banj's prerogative to give KokoMycine (immunity) to one of the girls but he can only use KokoMycine once in the duration of the show. The winner will among other benefits, be crowned Kokolette 1, and win a Chris Aires Diamond ring, brand new convertible car, feature in D'Banj's next music video, You Don Make Me Fall In Love alongside N5 million in cash. The winner will also have the privilege to be D'Banj's companion at public events both within and outside Nigeria.
Gbam! If have any problem with that, go and jump over the third mainland bridge!

Anyway, this topic is not about Koko Mansion and cynics, it is about the fact that D’banj can connote anything from “koko”. We can brace ourselves for Koko Records or what other explanation does he have for not featuring in the two latest songs from the Mo’hits All Stars?

Tosyn "SpeechGirl" Bucknor
What have I got to say about our lovely Tosyn? Well, we all know that she’s got this show on Top Radio 90.9 fm and I aint gotta lie to you; the show is off the hinges! Apparently, must people think the same, what with all the thumbs-up she gets from listeners. She has enough proposals from guys to last her fifty lifetimes. She happens to have a way of laying them off - she tells every aspirant to call her Dad on 080419419. Tosyn, on her radio show is very funny and sarcastic. She is undisputedly Top Radio’s top-gun, the reason why most people listen to the station. A listener was not chary enough to tell her - he called and said he likes her, not Top Radio. She has such captivating effects on people. One thing I like about the show is the way she divides it into segments; it’s like a magazine show. She is on her road to becoming the queen of the airwaves; you should trust my judgment. Tosyn is also a writer; you can view her blog and her show’s. Yeah, I know; I’m granting her free publicity. But frankly, she doesn’t need it. She’s just doing something great that is worth mentioning. Don’t think this blog is all about castigating the Nigerian media.

I rest my case for now. Peace ya’ll.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Headz Up! Updates...

This isn’t yet another B & P as usual, just a few issues that have gone on since I last updated that I thought you guys should know about…

Failure To Launch
Contrary to what was earlier reported, female rapper Kel’s album launch has been postponed once more… Again! Though there are no reports yet as to what caused the delay (piracy issues were said to be responsible for an earlier postponement), Kel’s FB page states that the time lag was due to efforts to ensure "the album is fabulous from case to the last track.”
But I really, really wish she and the label Capital Hill Music would choose a date and really stick with it this time around. Pushing forward record release dates definitely doesn’t augur well for a debut album.
It’s no secret that I am a solid fan already but the rest of Nigeria’s entertainment audience can be quite fickle 90% of the time especially when they sense you are jerking their cord. In all honesty I’m praying that by the time The Investment does actually drop we wouldn’t have already invested our auditory capital elsewhere.

While BOUQUI Is Indeed ReDefined...

On a contrary note, BOUQUI’s album, Redefinition did launch as promised which was carried in this online report here. The story by Jayne Usen did make an interesting read especially where it concerned the anchorman, Kamal Salau (remember him from NTA’s Take A Step and recently, Zain’s Don’t Forget The Lyrics?)

Another story here though unrelated with BOUQUI’s album launch, tells of a fan who was beaten up while trying to “steal” Wande Coal’s stunnahz. I’ve got one piece of advice for Wande as stated by Mr. Bling-Bling himself, Terry G: use costume jewellery.

Boyz Are Not Smiling…
One track I’ve been bumping to recently is Joe - Spazm a.k.a. Terry tha Rapman’s new single, Sample (Remix) which features Original Stereoman and Pheroshawz.
Interestingly, Terry’s Sample (Remix) actually samples Stereoman’s track, Sample (confusing eh?) and the video for the song is out as well. It was shot in a gritty Hip-hop mini-documentary/ street style reminiscent of the Thoroughbreds' Street Hop video and traces the creative process that goes into making the track all the way from the studio straight into a bus until it hits the streets of Alaba.
Like I’ve been saying for a long while every music video ought to have a concept. Big ups to Terry and whoever directed the shoot...

Lyricists On The Roll
And no, I am not referring to the HHW award that goes by that name. Flipping through quite a few newspapers over the weekend, it is indeed worthy to note that several of them seem to be taking Naija music lyrics seriously enough to publish them.
On the online avenue however, it appears most site are yet to give Naija music lyrics the respect they truly deserve. They may be playing our music alright but they are ignoring the words. Typical case in point? A cursory search for MI’s Safe lyrics gave some false positives including sites that only link the video. But then of course you know where you got the video and lyrics at the same time from, right? That’s right, from MN

On The Lookout
Events to look out for in the coming months? Well, Zain will team up with MTVBase Africa to give you yet another edition of the MTVBase Africa Music Awards better known as the MAMAs. Last year’s maiden edition held in Abuja did receive not a few knocks so here’s hoping they better get this one right this time.
MTN’s Project Fame West Africa is already screening on AIT and MITV while Zain again looks to take up after them with its own Music Talent show, Idols West Africa 2. Honestly, after seeing the quality of winners that emerged from previous editions of both shows, we definitely can’t wait to get on this one.

On a music level, Albums I’m looking forward to listening to this month include the latest releases from artistes like Etcetera, Djinee, BOUQUI and Bracket.

And On a Final Note…
Is LG AWOL? I’ve been stalking her blog for the past few weeks and I come out sad everyday. The rank of Blogville legends seems to be depleting way too fast which is sad really considering I “grew” up on most of these folks.
My sweet potato, I do see your comment on a few other blogs but wherever you are, I’m really missing your funny wit like MAD. Holler at me, OK?
Meanwhile, on a side note, you can read up a story here I wrote a while back specially for her. It also mentions certain bloggers. Who knows, you just might have been one of them…

Happy Weekend!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

B & P 11: Ladies Everywhere! Bloggers, Eye Candy And Rappers

Hmm… How come I almost let two whole months go by just like that without giving you a dose of the B & P, huh? Anyway, this month the focus is on some drop-dead fine women…

2x Years Ago…
…an angel was born! And a chubby one at that… That’s right. One of our own in the MN house, Woomie to be exact, added one more year to her fabulous life yesterday so now you know the 4th of July isn’t just special to only the U.S. of A.
Too bad I couldn’t be there but wherever you are, if you haven’t done so already, kindly hop over to her blog and holler at her, OK?
Happy Birthday dear, and here’s wishing you many more happier years still. From Esquire and me, thanks for being our friend!!!

Her Royal Awesomeness Delivers…
And no, I’m not talking of her e-baby… that’s old news. Now, anyone who’s been reading these pages would know how I’ve been whining about laying hands on the Illegal Music Mixtape. I’m even beefing BTC about it sef. Well beef no more…
My one-time prospective boo, Her Royal Awesomeness, the one and only, She of the Tightest Bum, stunning blogger with her smart Medico brain, Bumight has finally sent me a “roundabout” copy of the said mixtape and I’m already drooling anticipating the clash of killer beats and ice-fire lyrics bombarding my ear-drums. What makes this gift even far more special is because this will be the very first time a blogger is getting me a present of any sort. You guys rock jo!
Thank you! Thank you!! Thanks a million, Bumight! The interest and concern in giving me musical pleasure means a lot to me even though I’m still short of words. And yes, I will wear your ring…

There Is One Caveat Though…
Is it just me, or are Internet services in Nigeria going back to the early days of being plain old crap? All this downtime is surely driving me crazy. Honestly I can’t say if it’s the cafes I use or their lousy ISPs but I seriously doubt if broadband has in actual fact, come to Nigeria. No, I am not trying to run my country down but nowadays it gets so frustrating attempting to download stuff or watch videos on YouTube unlike a few months back. And anyone in the know can testify to the simple fact that Naija music videos tend to hit YouTube first before the local TV channels (it’s not difficult figuring out why. YouTube is “free” and reaches a wider audience).
As you might have rightly guessed, my gripe stems from the fact that I am currently unable to download that mixtape even till now. Last time I tried, Opera kindly informed me that it would take 9 hours, 53 minutes and 23 seconds (an exaggeration nonetheless) to download and truthfully, I have neither the patience nor finances to attempt that feat.
In the meantime while I figure it out, I think I’ll just follow Bumight’s example and write on my Twitter page: If you love me, send me a copy of the Illegal Music mixtape.
Maybe that will get BTC and a couple of other females rustling…

Kel’s Investment
Kel Ohia is Investing and big time too…
And no, I’m not talking of investing in a stunning evening gown especially as there’s nothing absolutely wrong with this one which she sported to Etcetera’s Black Tie Gig which held June 14th. If for nothing, one reason to love this extremely good-looking, full-figured rapper is the fact that she isn’t afraid to bring the sexy back into Hip-hop. If you check out her full package in the dress she wore towards the end of the Waa Wa Alright video, I’m sure you’ll agree with me. You can also scope her out in the video for Too Fine.
Her sexy self aside, Kel’s debut album The Investment which release had previously been shifted some months back, was set to hit the stores on 22-06-09. And guess what? I’m about to go out there and - in the usual Idumota slang - “grab a copy now!” When I do, you can be sure I’ll be letting you guys know what I like about the album. Or not…
Meanwhile, one more bootylicious Kel picture to add to my PC desktop, thank you!

Linda’s Dreams and Inspirations
Permit me to say this, one blogger I have secretly respected and openly admired for a very long time since I stumbled upon her page happens to be ex-model and entrepreneur, Linda Ikeji. Of course I am not so much taken by her good looks and curves (not bad… not bad at all) but the one thing I really dig about her is her enterprising, ambitious, never-say-die spirit and the fact that she always strives to remain open to all her fans regardless of anything. For all you know, she could be the girl next door. Or not. But what’s more important, she knows whatever it is she wants and goes after it.
So here’s me doing a little bit of unsolicited PR for her. Recently Linda launched her latest endeavour - her fashion line - online. Now normally, I am not one to fuss about threads and stitches but her fashion line which features a collection of Indian-themed apparel (called Indian Dreams) and her Inspirational Tee-shirts/tops (dubbed i-Tees) have given me enough eye-candy as it is that I just had to blog about them. The pictures below are actually my favourites out of both collections but by all means, do click on the links above to get so much more detailed info on the collections (plus some more eye-tease, if you catch my drift). And just like Linda says, kindly focus on the fine clothes and not the fine models! LOL...

"Once you choose hope, anything is possible"

This one I love the most. It says “Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it.” Inspirational, yet highly suggestive at the same time…He he he he!!!

The Indian Dream collection is made by Indian designer Padu Jiandani exclusively for Linda Ikeji.

BOUQUI Sings A Love Song
BOUQUI’s latest single, I Love You Forever has been gracing the airwaves for several weeks now and looks set to successfully take over the reins from her previous hit track Morile making 2009 indeed the year of the B.O.U.Q.U.I. And like its predecessor, you can be sure the video might be out any time now, if it isn’t already.
The new single is very, very nice but what will give several audiophiles pause on hearing this track is the fact that this gospo-centric rapper temporarily ditches her rapping style and actually sings in her new love ballad. Hmmm… BOUQUI is singing romantic music! Rather puzzling considering she accomplishes this metamorphosis beautifully too making one wonder why she has stuck with rapping since like forever.
Nevertheless, the single was mixed and mastered by her brother, Mix Master Jay and features Mike Aremu who skilfully commandeers the sax as usual. Lyrics-wise, I Love You Forever suggests BOUQUI’s pledge to fulfil the love, devotion and duties of a new-wedded wife, which if you ask me re-inforces the fact that the song is a very clear message to Mr. Right. Whether Prince Charming is actually on the line is sadly not information I am privy to.
With the past success of Sunny Neji’s Oruka, it’s a sure bet that I Love You Forever is bound to be the newest wedding song of the year. Seeing Wande Coal perform Bumper To Bumper to usher in a couple during a wedding recently on TV is SO NOT IT and it’s refreshing to have the ladies singing the wedding songs for a change. Her new album, BOUQUI Redefined or Redefinitions (take your pick!) is slated for launch today the 5th of July at the Eko Hotel & Suites.
On a final note, hey I love you BOUQUI forever too, but I think the famed BOUQUI hairstyle and Hip-hop gear is so 2007-ish. My personal advice? Kindly ditch the tomboy look, lose the hair and ask Kel for fashion tips. Nicely…

Like I always say my peeps, till we meet again…

Kel, i-Tees and Indian Dreams pixes courtesy

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

My Life’s Soundtrack - Teaser

This here’s my last M.I. track for the month of June…
The lyrics of this track were once the subject of debate between two Facebook-ers on the MI group page. Interestingly, the debate stems mostly from each person’s interpretation of what feature-artiste Pype is really saying, giving his strong patois and the overlapping beats.
Too bad few Naija artistes bother releasing the lyrics of their tracks so we’ll just keep doing the transcribing for them.
This here is my own interpretation of that song…

Track: Teaser (Track 5 from the album Talk About It)
Artiste: M. I. (feat Pype)
Transcribed by: Naughty Eyes

[Hook] x 3
Me tell her say I’m the girl pleaser, big booty squeezer
Teaser looking for a diva fo’ shizz-a
What you need is a geezer cool like a freezer
Rule like a Ceasar

Bling! 7-star General ‘longside M. I.

Repeat Hook

And that’s me…

Me tell her say: Hello Mamacita
You a-sexy chick-a
I’m a girl teaser
So baby let me please ya
Far from a church mouse but love a lotta cheese-a
Me loving your features
Can you move your feet-a
I’m a Loopy President, you can be my Evita
If a girl don’t wanna flow, me always delete her
And me never repeat her
Me look for something sweeter
Take me to the club and make it hot like a heater

From Pype to the Pipe, Pype, Pype!
From the juvenile, irreversatile
They did not promote girl, we the genuine
Love them to swallow them pride
And just to gleam and wine
7-star General, MI, fresh rhyme
Me a-flip it, lift it on it and the girl them love I
And we no nigh ‘pon them mime midnight to 5
Me love the girl them pretty head to toe
And what you a-goner? Me a-sing all night

Repeat Hook x 2

So me tell her:
Have you ever been to Jamaica
Been to Malaysia
All I’ve got is paper so let me upgrade ya
Take you to the next level like an elevator
Your boyfriend is a hater
But he can be our waiter
I’m solar energy and he a-generator
I’m a-PC and he a-cheap calculator
Girl I got dough I bake bread like a baker
Now you’re on my radar so let me get your data

OK! Suddenly me pull me pepperoni ‘pon a pizza
And these girls them love me just like them redeemer
Give it to them and they call me the teacher
Me flip it, lift it on it and the girl no retire
From me roll, send me love their way
To the early morn me no run away
Fi give the girl them truly what them need
7-star General, MI once again

Repeat Hook x 2

And that’s me… (echo)

Pype [Spoken]
Rump on it
Crump on it
MI and Pype!

Repeat Hook x 2

MI and Pype!
Begin the wine
Me love the way me see some boys
Big up them chest like a-them King Kong
Say from now till the early morn
For you we a-fi ever sing song

Repeat Hook

7-star General, ‘longside MI
Me a-sing fi the girl them
Ok, alright
Ok, alright…


Lyrics © M.I. & Chocolate City Music 2008

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Flogging A (Hopefully) Dead Horse...

It is indeed a fine time to be a critic…

Wow! After reading Reuben Abati’s article on nationality and the face of our emerging music landscape and Banky W’s rejoinder to the said article, I can only conclude that for once I am really proud of the jolt it has given the entire Naija (or is it Nigerian?) entertainment industry to carry out some much-needed soul-searching.

When many of us FaceBook-ers saw the notifications on our FB Wall, little did we know that an earthquake was in the making.

For those of you not in the know, Reuben Abati’s piece is in summary, a tongue-lashing of the younger generation of Nigerian entertainers (and we the audiences alike) written in the context of comparisons of past and present music, their respective proponents, the re-mixing of the national anthem and the current style of abbreviated nomenclature which in Mr. Abati’s view represents an alarming loss of national identity.

Banky W’s equally sarcastic yet respectful response on the other hand, which strives to make a case for the younger generation challenges several notions as proposed by Mr. Abati by drawing parallels with the music greats of old as well as highlighting the survivalist entrepreneurial attributes of the present generation and the shortcomings of the much-longed-for “Golden Age”.

As a slight deviation from the very serious issues being treated here, having written the last two paragraphs myself without duly consulting an encyclopedia, thesaurus or concordance, I have indeed proven that I happen to be far more enlightened then Mr. Abati would give my generation credit for and just as polished as Mr. Banky clearly show he is. In short, I am indeed proud of myself. Gbam!

In all honesty I had earlier written a highly intellectual rejoinder to all these rejoinders challenging all Mr. Abati’s assumptions, supporting his valid points and generally proving to him that I know who Lord Lugard and his consort, Flora Shaw were. On the other hand, I also disputed a few of Banky’s sweeping statements supporting a generation of musicians, most of whom - in my opinion - don’t know a musical notation flat from a flat tire.

However, after reading both articles plus the million and one responses that have accompanied both, to tell the truth I am tired of all the bullshitting (pardon my French). I now regret to announce that I have scrapped my intellectual masterpiece.

After reading Tosyn Bucknor’s own post on the issue, I am all very much tempted to pitch camp with her (a very small camp tent for that matter) and say “Warraheck???” What is all this noise about anyway?

As far as I am concerned, half of these reactions to both articles stem from musicians who were annoyed with their perceived misrepresentation (or the wrong spelling of their names or that of their corporate sponsors) in Mr. Abati’s piece. The other half are probably pissed-off that Mr. Abati neglected to mention them.

Rant as we might, we cannot deny some fundamental facts these issues have raised. Mr. Abati was right when he said, “Music is about sense, sound, shape and skills. But there is an on-going deficit in all other aspects except sound. So much sound is being produced in Nigeria, but there is very little sense, shape and skills.”

Banky W was also right when he said, “Far be it from us to claim that we are perfect and flawless in our art... we know that we are still growing and have lots of areas to improve, but the truth of the matter is we have worked very hard to create the industry we have now.”

And Tosyn Bucknor was very, very, very correct when she said “You know what’s worse than someone trying to get your attention? Giving it to them. Which is what I’ve seen a lot of my dear friends and acquaintances do lately.”

And then she said “I see Nigerian artistes who basically have to fend for themselves because structures that should have been put in place where eroded a long time ago! And I applaud the artistes who find this article annoying. Me, I just don’t get why they are paying it this much attention.”

But she hit the hammer squarest on the head when she said “Do they pay us attention when as their fans, we complain that everyone is using the same beat? Has anyone of them listened to us when we say we are tired of ‘Moet’, ‘Bentley’, ‘Maga’ and other words in their lyrics? When last did they show they care, that in spite of the fact that we cringe when we listen to some of the music they churn out, we still support them wholeheartedly?”

Let me guess: Banky’s article will be a favourite with his contemporary artistes who no doubt have linked it into online posterity, clipped out printed copies to pin up on their walls or distribute like fliers at a concert venues and written their own supporting rejoinders to the rejoinders of his rejoinder.

Reuben Abati’s write-up will continuously come under fire till maybe next week when people will tire of it and look for something else to talk (or sing about). Undoubtedly it will spurn a new generation of critics who have now found the courage to say what they’ve been afraid to say all this while about the Naija entertainment industry. Tosyn Bucknor’s (and probably mine as well, who knows) may not come under any fire whatsoever but will be forgotten just as soon.

Like I always say: having a voice is one thing. Saying the right things with that voice is another.

Before the state of my sanity is called into question, let me state here that Abati has never been one to shy away from the truth (or his perception of what truth is) or been known to call a spade a common gardening tool. It isn’t easy to earn my respect but he has earned it and rightly too. However I must agree with the mob on this one. Mr. Abati’s article though finely written indirectly ends up poking out the eye in the process of trying to remove the splinter.

And who knows, maybe poking out that eye has ironically made us see all the better.

While many of the younger generation are still busy celebrating this demonstration of our new-found voice, a few seemed so stunned by the discovery that they do have a voice, so much so that they end up abusing the privilege. I must admit that it was very disheartening seeing people attack Mr. Abati’s character rather that focus squarely on the issues contained in his message.

I am afraid that eventually I have ended up substituting one boringly intellectual post for another. In closing therefore, let me borrow a few lines from my previously scrapped post in which I wrote concerning the loss of national identity which is the bigger issue here and not music:

What is the loss of National Identity? Is it definable in the decaying moral, economic, political and musical fabrics of the present times? Was there indeed a national identity in the first place? Or is what we are seeing now the fall-out of judgements impaired by a cool evening breeze and a romantic moment between Lord Lugard and Flora Shaw?

In all honesty, the loss of national identity started way before Mr. Abati’s time and will go on past Mr. Banky’s generation into the next unless we start realising why we are Nigerians and not how we came to be Nigerians. For like it or not, we are Nigerians. This country is going down in all sectors, not just music and we collectively, old, young, dying and unborn have to pull it up by the bootstraps. I must confess that I do not really know how to do this but surely, throwing generational stones isn’t one of them.

I love Nigeria. I love the youth of Naija. I am proud of Nija, 9ja, Gidi or any other contrivances of nomenclature future generations may come to know this national entity by.

For like I have come to know, as the current re-branding exercise will undoubtedly show, it is not the name by which we call anything that makes it worthwhile.

It is the heart that counts…

Thursday, June 18, 2009

My Life’s Soundtrack - Forever

This song on M.I.’s album turned out to be my best track of 2008 much thanks to its extra-smooth blend of soulful R&B tones, rap, drum beats, thumping bass and haunting background violins.
I’m posting it here especially for all the females I’m currently in crush with.
Even if you turn me down, me still love y’all!

Track: Forever (Track 14 from the album Talk About It)
Artiste: M.I.
Transcribed by: Naughty Eyes

Baby (echo), Baby, Baby, Baby (x 4)

[R & B Verse 1]
‘Scuse me lady, I’ve been wanting to know
I’ve been watching you all night on the floor
I’ve been hoping and waiting for this chance
So I could ask you if you would like to dance

I like the way you move
I like the way you shake
If I don’t answer you girl
Life in lying my heart go bend
I wanna hold you, tease you, rock you, squeeze you
So promise me that you will dance alone with me

[Rap 1]
So sister don’t move, please
You give weak knees
Hey, lil’ Mama, what’s your steeze is
Gotta say ma, you’re looking grand like jeans
Hello hi! I’m M.I.
I’m so fly, my low is high
Been staring all night, you’ve been on my brain
And I wanna be Abel like Cain
To dance all night with you
Let you know since I met you
I know I can’t forget you
See, I can make it rain and I wanna wet you
Let me show how forever can feel like a couple of secs
It’s a whole lot more than just sex
And it isn’t complex
Girl, I’m so Xtra-cool, let’s Xtra-connect

[R & B 2]
If you are ready, let me rock you slowly
Hold you and then we can dance the night away
I have been waiting for so long
To get lost inside a song
This feeling is so strong
C’mon let’s dance the night away

Repeat Chorus

[Rap 2]
Come close, stand here
Eyes closed, no fear
See, you’re the best thing I’ve seen
Destiny has destined, I seen
What’s your story, what’s your tale?
But if it’s love thing just send me a mail
Right now what I wanna do is inhale
Exhale, set sail
So let’s set sail to a foreign land
All these other guys so boring and
You can come too when I’m touring and
I can see your face in the morning and perchance
We can share a whole lifetime’s romance
It’s us right now, tonight what a dance
What a kiss, Miss, miss you
I know you miss me too

[Bridge] X 2
Take it slow, don’t you know (Waited my whole life for you)
Rock your body on the floor (Baby girl I adore you)
If you’re looking for the man to dance with you tonight
Let me do the best I can
We’ll dance from now until it’s light

Repeat Chorus

Forever (echo x 3)
Baby I want to show you
How much I love you

(Oh baby, I want to show you
How much I love you

Baby (echo), Baby, Baby, Baby

(Echo till Fade…)

Lyrics © M.I. & Chocolate City Music 2008

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

My Life’s Soundtrack - Safe

**Long Lyrical Alert**

Hold up! Have you seen the lyrics to M.I.’s “SafeANYWHERE online or offline? No? I didn’t think so! So here’s what I’m going to do… How about I transcribe the lyrics just for you? Great, ain’t it?
YO! Here’s me TRULY and loudly blowing my horn. Not only that but you also get to check out the fresh hot video right here! Did I hear you say you love me?
Where did you get it all from first? I can’t hear you. Where? Only on Media Nemesis, baby!

Track: Safe (Track 7 from the album Talk About It )
Artiste: M.I. (feat. Djinee)
Transcribed by: Naughty Eyes

[Djinee - Spoken Intro]
All these kpomo men now… Them be kpomo men…
(Scoffs) Woah!

Yo! It’s the way that they do me [echo] (Are we safe right here?)
The way that they do me
Crowds used to boo me but now ladies woo me
Truly I’m sorry, sue me
Me, I’m a Loopy, I’m money long like Moony
I’m Looney like Tuney, your girl wish she knew me
My arms strong like Loony, and C. City blew me up
Yup, you can only watch like a movie
Ruby I’m a- melt the game like a booby
People asking “Who he?”
They call me M.I.-er, just because I’m getting higher
I’m spitting fire, this written fire
There’s no bullshitting I’m sitting on top, Naija’s rap messiah
I kill them Mama, them Papa, bring drama, end proper in coma
This rapper show-stopper, he’s hotter
Top-shot, no other rap while I’m rendering, hear the words he’s uttering
‘Cos other rappers stuttering
I rhyme am well, I’m not them, I’m hot, chill! I’ve got skill
The most incredible out of Naija, I’m on fire
I’ve got street credibility and he definitely flow infinitely and so intermittently
Ha! Plus, I’m a party rider ‘cos I flow tighter so put up your lighter
MI be in the house and MC’s they shall bounce and go home to their spouse
‘Cos to stay might be detrimental (mental), better flow better instrumental (mental)
You gotta learn the fundamental (mental) and my flow is so essential, essential, essential
Listen! Silence (Shh!!) is the best answer, not violence
That’s why I bring war on the violins
This is Armageddon dog, hear the sirens
And no, I am not retiring
No, I’m never tiring, these lyrics that I’m firing
But don’t be dismayed, ‘cos Zenith Bank is hiring
For instance, there’s no resistance
The flow persistent and so consistent
Other rappers distant, they should have listened
Because I’m the engine room and the gear and the piston
There’s no rest see, at best you’re assisting
I’m what they’re missing, I’m why they listen
I’m the heart police dawg, I’m cardiac-arresting
The best thing and you’re just microphone-testing

[Hook - Djinee]
Are we safe right here?
You better run fi cover, na we dey right here
Hey! Where you dey when we dey chop kuli-kuli
Dey sell kpoli-kpoli, you dey form holy-holy

[Repeat Hook]

[M. I.]
Don’t try me oh
C. City wan’ eye me oh
And I’m rated highly oh
Heh! They call me M.I.
Listen y’all, yo! Mo gbono feli feli, I’m spitting like Machiavelli
I’m always inside your telly, your lyrics are smelly-smelly
I’m chilling in Pelly Pelly, I’m chilli inside your belly
Rappers are really silly, you rappers Milli Vanilli
But nuffin’ do me because I dey rhyme yo
Nothing’s gonna rule me because I dey shine yo, shine yo
I know I’m so fine yo, I’ll blind y’all with each rhyme yo
I move like a rhino, until we sitting on top, sitting spitting on top
Rappers spitting, they should stop
It’s real when I drop, your sh*t is gonna flop
You kickin’ so sloppy, getting spanked by your Papi
And you should know my P, they call me M.I., M.I., see
I’m rocking M.I. - M.I.C. and my flow is so deadly
Whiskolo whiska, the incredible Mister
The top on the list-a, he’s voted like Next-a
Loved by your sister, he maybe even kissed her
The brand new experience like Vista
Ebariba sanbori bobo
The ladies going loco when they hear his vocal
Rap’s in a choke-hold
Other rappers local, they rap with a vocorder
I’m the koko
Other rappers so-called, I’m medicine for the game like I’m Procold
You can’t deny, I give them what them wanting
And if you’re still sitting down, you’re on a long thing
And if there’s ever been a rap this fly
Yo, it hasn’t been done by another M.I.

[Djinee - Freestyle Pidgin Rap]
Hey! Hey! Why you dey run where you dey run, you think say you get liver
You come dey form like say you be that Arnold Schwarzenegger
Hey! You go talk the one you dey today
Today, today we go run you down you no know where you dey
Heh! We dey kill them, M.I. you dey treat them
Show them say this hip-hop music dey your system
Teach them, school them, if them f**k up, cane them
Oh! Them no know say, them no know say
You be Pyeri boy, I be B-side boy
We do run things eh! We dey run things oh!
Hey oh! Hey! Hey! Ihe ne me! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Pack your load go, pack your load go
M.I. don come here hey!

[M. I.]
Yo! Djinee in the house ladies and gentlemen

We go run you down in your area
Think am oh!
Hey yo! We go run you down
Your Mama, your Papa
Na we dey right here oh

[M. I.]
Yo! And it’s a wrap y’all…

Lyrics © M.I. & Chocolate City Music 2008

PS: The Safe video was directed by Mex of Pixel Chaos. Interestingly, it also contains subtle references to a few other music videos. Quick examples: the background shown when MI says “Whiskolo Whiska” (the title of a Durella song) is a replica of the bar backdrop featured in the video for Shayo, another song by Durella. Also certain digital effects used here are exactly the same in style with the Gbenga Salu - directed Ten-Ten (embedded in the previous post).
Most music video connoisseurs will recognize Mex as the director of the smashin’ high-tech video Dangerous in which Dipp features M.I.

PPS: For those of you who have been good enough to stick to the end, here’s a news leak of a little something-something I’m tentatively working on.
It’s a feature called “TRAQ ANALYSIS” which is a blow-by-blow breakdown of these lyrics, their origins and references. Be on the look-out cos the TRAQ ANALYSIS of these smoking hot lyrics will explode anytime soon on the Spoken Word blog which is currently undergoing a resurrection.
Watch out!


Monday, June 8, 2009

Still Up This June…

…over the next few weeks, I’ll be posting lyrics from M.I.’s HHWA 2009 award-winning Talk About It album (now available on iTunes) which I can’t still get enough of. Sadly I can’t lay hands on his Illegal Music Mixtape so I’m still stuck with the debut album.

I’m still waiting to hear from Bobby Taylor on how to get the sophomore album and I’m seriously hoping Dante can help me out on this one. For now all I can say is watch out for the lyrics to Safe (yes, you heard me right) and several other tracks.

Still speaking of Safe, its music video just dropped and though I’m yet to see it, Lord knows when it’s going to grace TV. The video had been in the works for a while now (the guys at NotJustOK brought the Making to my attention first) and confirmed the video debut. These online music sources are definitely da BOMB! Thanks a million guys!!!

Plus Mo’ Hits And Ten Ten
On another note, my review of Wande Coal’s album is almost done and I’ll put that up once I’ve applied finishing touches. And for dessert, you can check out the Gbenga Salu-directed video to the Mo’ Hits All Stars single Ten-Ten off the M2M album plus I’ve even thrown in the lyrics close to the bottom of this post.

Their two bonus singles on M2M are a sure sign that the Mo’Hits crew are working on a new project and for their sakes I hope it’s better than their previous CV album.

PS: Finally, a question that has been bugging my mind: has anyone noticed the very low profiles that D’Banj and Kelly Hansome have been keeping recently from their respective record labels’ activities? What’s up with that, huh?

Have a swell week!


Track: Ten Ten (Bonus Track from the Album “Mushin2Mo’ Hits”)
Artistes: Mo’ Hits All Stars
Transcribed by: Naughty Eyes

[Intro - Wande Coal]
Every time I see … (echo) you girly
Every time I see you girly
Mo’ Hits! Don Jazzy again!
Every time I see you girly
Hey! Don Jazzy again!

[Wande Coal]
Every time I see you girl, you dey turn me on
If I no fit get you girl, I no go carry on
Pass me the paper, pass the crayon
Make I put your sexy body in-a there on
Girl, you’re one in a million
The only one fish in my aquarium
Baby girl, don’t you think that I’m very young
Age no be nothing but a number
Cos I’m-a keep, keep lovin’ you girl
Never, no skip, skip lovin’ you girl
Don’t wanna be like other guys wey dey take advantage just dey…

Use you play (ten-ten)
Everyday (ten-ten)
Yesterday (ten-ten)
My love no be ten-ten
I no be small pickin oh
Trust me I no go use you play (ten-ten)
Everyday (ten-ten)
Yesterday (ten-ten)
My love no be ten-ten
I no be small pickin oh (x 2)

[Dr. Sid]
Every time I see you girl, see you girl
You give me everything that I like
If it’s wrong to be loving you girl, loving you girl
Then I don’t wanna be right, eh
Cos you’re my generator when they take light
I go dey shout: “Up NEPA!” if you say you’ll be my wife
Na you dey bring joy to my life
If you offer me a chance you know I no go think am twice
Cos the boys dey wish for your loving
If it’s me you’re giving your loving
I’ll never be that guy who tries to take advantage to dey…

Repeat Chorus

B-b-bend down!
See, what you want girl, albeit it be drop-top
And a penthouse just to keep you on top
Bangles ‘pon da wrist them look like handcuff
Me money pile up from here to Bangkok
(Ladies!) you a fi need the man that strong like Hancock
By your side, at your back and even on top
Girl you look nice and your style is so top
(And me can’t shout) but me money can talk
When we walk, by your side me chest me pump up
When you go down on me, me always jump up
Salvatore, Ferragamo, Gucci, Louis Vuitton
That’s why me a fi sing this song

Repeat Chorus

(D’Prince is here!)

What’s D’Prince got to do just to get with you
Don’t necessarily mean I wanna sleep with you
I’m in need of a Princess and I think it’s you
Hmm… hmm… hmm… hmm… hmm… hmm… hmm…
I don’t need to ask my friends what they think of you
I see my future wife when I look at you
See I love you from your head to your Jimmy Choo’s
I’ma kiss you even if you’ve got the flu
See I’ve got what it takes to make your life easy
You know what it is, the Prince of ephizzie
Never gonna see me flirting on TV, believe me
I’m not deceiving
I’m never gonna…
Never gonna…

Repeat Chorus X 2

Instruments till Fade…

Lyrics © Mo’ Hits All Stars & Mo’ Hits Records 2008

Monday, May 25, 2009

Hiatus Interruptus…

... which if my Catechism Latin serves me well, should stand for “a break in the Break” - or basically, “stop sitting down on your ass and get back to work, you” - and not the other kind of interruptus some of y’all were thinking it was.

And to think I was actually going to call this post “Return of the Mac” until I realised I didn’t have one… A Mac that is…

Don’t know how many noticed but things have been MAD/MENTAL/CRAZY of late on my blogs so much so that I was forced to put everything on lock-down. I wasn’t even going to discuss it, I just wanted to leave quietly but a whole lot of drama has gone on behind the scenes. Suffice it to say, I’ve re-opened for business and I’m still hanging around. I was down but definitely not out.

Second long story short, the love of my life a.k.a. my PC crashed many weeks back meaning I’ve been unable to do updates or a whole lot of other meaningful stuff for a while. It drove me crazy but she’s in a partially fair state of health now. What really annoyed me was that despite the on-going recession and lack of salaried employment, I’ve had to shelve out a lot of money for her resuscitation. Honestly, you don’t want to know how much I spent, unless - that is - you intend to help me out with a refund or an external Hard Disk to recover my backup.

My friend Woomie has been telepathically beating me up to update so… I just had to do this: GOSH!!! I HAVE MISSED YOU GUYS!!!

Of course I’ve been managing to do blog paroles but it’s a whole different thing altogether having to type out each URL instead of consulting my Links/Bookmarks. And worse, I couldn’t save anything for offline reading which I really love doing, but what pissed me off was queuing up with all those Y.Y. boys Rayo once talked about and jostling to use lousy Ice Age café PCs packed chockfull of viruses and outdated plug-ins.

Anyways, I’m back… and hmm… where do I start? Let me just roam along on this one writing it up as I go.

Speaking of writing, I’ve got loads to do. First, the concluding parts of my other blog posts are still waiting to be written and I just hope the sequels are any bit as good when I get to post them by next week. (By the way, someone left a comment saying I reminded her of Carlang. You guys just keep astounding me. That’s the greatest compliment I’ve received so far. Thanks Miz-Cynic!)

Then there’s a review of Wande Coal’s Mushin2Mo’ Hits album and Kefee’s A Piece of Me to tackle and I’m also trying my hand at a Book Review. After that I’ll have to script a multi-part serialization x-raying the Nigerian music industry partly in view of the current NBC ban on certain music videos plus a critical look at my favourite entertainment medium: the TV.

Star Quest went by during my absence but I think I can still cook up something on that. Then one of my best Dance reality shows, Malta Guinness Street Dance Africa has begun hitting the silver screen already. I’ve got to say this here: Naija peeps are definitely talented when it comes to all sorts of dancing.

Project Fame West Africa comes up in a short bit and I intend to stay glued to that but sadly I’ll be missing Koko Mansion since the reality show’s exclusive to HiTV and honestly, not even D’Banj justifies a cable subscription in these trying economic times. I just hope they maintain a good web presence so I can follow it up online or even better, license other TV stations to show the delayed-broadcast editions (hope Tony Subair, Don Jazzy and the Koko Master himself are listening).

Lastly on entertainment, the 2009 Hip Hop World Awards came up on Saturday, 16th May with the nominees trying to grab our attention beforehand via their blogs and FB status messages. One mild surprise was Omawumi carting away the Next Rated and Best Female Vocalist awards leaving behind acts like Djinee, Niki Laoye and Wajeh. For a full list of the Award winners and celeb pictures, you can check out Linda Ikeji’s blog while Tosyn Bucknor’s and Banky W’s gave some very interesting Behind-the-Scene gists. One thing that really stumped me was that the HHWA website didn’t have any of the above information on its webpages until way AFTER the bloggers had put up theirs!!! Very BIG banana peel

HHWA photos courtesy and

Plus Some Random Blogville/FB Stuvvs
Ok, quite a lot has been going on in my absence but let me mention a few that pained me like shege. First on my list, what’s up with Doug’s blog? Got a notification that he’d updated but when I eventually checked it out, poof! The blog had disappeared into virtual smoke! Wetin dey? Is it what I’m thinking? If anyone gets in touch, please tell him to holler ASAP, will ya? And DB, can you please be a good boy and explain the whereabouts of your previously padlocked post?

Oh, then some good news: our Laide’s got a boyfriend! Bad news: It isn’t me. I swear, that post broke my heart to pieces then gathered the pieces and smashed them to even smaller pieces, I was so sad I didn’t eat for all of 3 hours. Nevertheless, I’m really glad for her, honest. Same goes for Vera. Just two things for me to do now: (1) re-focus my glasses and (2) go cast my net elsewhere…

Is it me or does it seem like a cliquish thing is going around Blogville? I haven’t really been able to savour the full flavour of The African Women blog (no thanks to dumb Lagos ISPs) but recently I stumbled upon another group of African bloggers doing their thing literally via movie reviews. Would have loved to join but I’ve got a lot on my plate already…

Now to the really happier bits, I enjoyed reading Rita’s interview with StandTall. I was actually planning to kick-start an Interview segment on my blog by having a chat with our Activist but the gentleman in me let Rita snag it. Yeah, right… More interviews are still in the pipeline nonetheless, so do watch out for that maybe next month.

Blogville aside, I attended the kick-off of the most blogged about literary event, The 9 Writers Book Tour at WA 7 and I must say I was mighty impressed (even better, the event started and ended on time too). You writers are such smart lot! To show how affected I was, I bought a book - definitely helped by the fact that the authoress was good-looking. Borrowing Seye’s lingo, I also un-met Rayo there since she and none of the bloggers I knew eventually showed up. Dante was present but somehow we didn’t meet either. You can read up his reportage of the book tour here.

I’m eagerly anticipating my next Arts meet but another event I’m also looking forward to will hold this time via Facebook. It’s called The Drive and though the destination details are sketchy, it’s basically a road adventure holding on May 29th. Now it’s been a long time since I had adventure, I’m sincerely praying I’ll be around for that one. As for the Sundays At The Bay event, Laide’s chronicle of the April edition, especially the boat capsizing bit has succeeded in “drowning” my enthusiasm. If you use FB, I’m sure you can search for details of both events on the site.

And speaking of Facebook, I’m seriously contemplating its importance to me right now. I seem to be spending too much time on it and moreover, nowadays every teenager, Y.Y. boy and their dog seem to be signing up and popping me with their Friend Requests. Imagine wanting to be my “friend” just because we share the same very common last name? On the flip side, I got into a lyrical battle with someone just because I said Sasha’s sexy and he disagreed. Anyway, I verbally assaulted the guy real bad and won but it’s not as if I’m proud of it seeing as he has to go and majorly diss my FB profile picture. But hey, I never said I was an Adonis, right?

So how’s this for rambling? I’ve got to stop now… Have a gazillion comments to drop plus my blog rounds to resume, certain strong blogging resolutions to be made, a couple of CVs and e-mails to send, stuff to reply to and then Facebook…

So to summarise, even though I didn’t really go anywhere, IT FEELS GOOD TO BE BACK!!!

Gosh!!! I’ve missed you guys! Did I say that before?

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

B & P 10: Aging Presenters, Music Blogs & Definitions

Hollywood, Ko… True Love, Ni… (in mixed English)
This is Naughty Eyes reporting live from the Hollywood Hills in California… OK, let me cut out the crap. I am really in Lagos (I’m loving this entertainment capital of Naija sha. With a well-positioned TV antenna, a generator and a gossipy neighbourhood, who really needs cable TV?)
So why did I start off with the California bit? Well, I saw an edition of Kenny and Dayo’s Primetime Africa show on TV recently where the (aging) presenters decided to showcase the video of Kelly Hansome’s True Love. Contrary to certain opinions, me and Kelly Bros no get wahala. Na Keke and D-1 dey vex me this time.
According to the duo, the said video was shot quote, in the Hollywood Hills in California and features the beautiful Nollywood actress, Stephanie Okereke, unquote. Na so I just balance well-well hoping to see my ex-fantasy babe play love with KH on TV. Instead Keke and D-1 just fall my hand seriously.

Guys! C’mon!! Since when did shooting a video somewhere in Enugu or wherever and adding external video clips showing aerial views of Hollywood equals to shooting the music video in Hollywood? Even me wey never go Film school sef sabi the editing trick them use for the video. Stop playing with our intelligence abeg!
To even spoil matters more, the much-touted Stephanie Okereke’s appearance consists of inserted footage from one of her recent movies, not that she featured in the music video per se! Nothing actually concerns her and Kelly Hansome in that video.
Ironically I’m really feeling Kelly Hansome on that track but to further add sand-sand to the garri, some people are accusing Kelly Boy of borrowing heavily from two of Tuface Idibia’s tracks: True Love and If Love Is A Crime. And annoyingly, KH never seems to be able to do a song without resisting the mention of Control Numbers in the lyrics.
To the Primetime “twins”, I did say this before: If your artiste doesn’t have enough money to shoot in the United States or UK or them no gree grant una visa, kindly try the cheaper South Africa option (you can ask Bigiano). This “Cut and Paste” no be am oh so you guys abeg, kindly drop the pretences and just let us enjoy good music videos, OK?

No, this isn’t Complex Algebra 101. It’s just an addition to the small but growing roll-call of A-list celeb Naija bloggers.
That’s right! MI a.k.a. Jude Abaga launched his blog a while back and it really looks promising with the 411 on his interviews, magazine covers, future shows and album launches.
MI’s foray into blogging is yet another acknowledgement of the fact that entertainers nowadays need to connect with their fans one-on-one and not just be content with album launches, shows and Radio and magazine interviews.
Here’s hoping that he has the momentum to keep up with his blogging even after his website is launched which he says will come fully on-stream anytime soon.
Speaking of his albums, expect as many lyrics to his Talk About It album as you want (better yet, request any of them and I’ll put it up for you) and a review of Illegal Music once I can lay my hands on it. You can click on the link above to scope the blog out or check out our new “Groupie Love Section” blogroll on the right.

The definition of “NotJustOK” on their blog says it all and these guys sure are nothing close to the ordinary. Co-run by Mola G and Ovie O. a.k.a. *O.O*, this Typepad-hosted blog (as far as I can tell) showcases the newest joints from artistes mostly of Nigerian origin and it’s not just about the songs either because you even get to see album covers, artistes’ wallpapers and photos and watch the latest videos as soon as they drop!
How these guys get their stuff hot off the press and manage to update everyday really beats my imagination and on the strength of this alone they deserved to have won at the NBAs if it had a purely music blog category. Methinks they ought to run a cable channel of their own or something!
They also have a Facebook presence too so if you’re an FB fan, you can chill out with these guys there.
One trial will surely convince you and after that you’ll never settle for anything that’s JustOK

Something To Add To Your Dictionary
It’s official! I’m bored… Here are the latest entries in the Blogville Dictionary of Online Ninglish (pirated copy)

1. ne-mes-me-rize:
Main Entry: nemesmerize
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form: - ized; -iz-ing
Derived From: charizing [Origin: Temite (I think…)]
Date: 2008

Definition: 1. to subject to nemesmerism
2. nemesmerism - to give exclusive mention to a blog, blogger, media, event or extra fly website on the Media Nemesis blog

Application: If I grant exclusive mention to you in a post, then consider yourself nemesmerized!

2. LMYO (or any other such derivations):
Main Entry: LMYO
Function: verb
Derived From: Woomie’s comments [Origin: Qube (I think…)]
Date: 2009

Definition: 1. L(aughing) M(y) Y(ansh) O(ff)
Application: (Commenting after reading this hilarious post) ROTFLMYOPIMPKTFWTFME

Ok parry people, it’s time to go. In the words of a certain Ure’s estranged husband, “I sign out now!” as I go looking for something more serious to blog about.

XOXO (whatever that means…)

PS: Special shout outs to Olowo (for giving me the 411 to the M.I. blog via her “Followers” section) and to SSD (for the NotJustOK connection through her “Nigeria vs. The African Continent” music series). It’s remarkable the ways we run into some very magnificent blogs through other bloggers, don’t you think?

PPS: (Ever expanding) list of bloggers who previously had no idea what “PS” means: Afrobabe and Buttercup… At least they were gracious enough to admit it! By the way, Afrobabe’s terrorist post cracked me up like mad especially her efforts at dodging MI5. Who would have thought that behind all that sexiness lay a natural comedienne!

PPPS: I going to give 5 million Pounds sterling (Biafran) to whosoever can tell me the meaning of ROTFLMYOPIMPKTFWTFME. And yes, LG, you may use a Lifeline…

Friday, April 10, 2009

My Life’s Soundtrack - Play Ball

No, it’s not what you think. I am actually so not feeling the E.P.L. As a matter of fact, Lord knows I wouldn’t give a hoot if all the EPL teams were to morph into Agriculture clubs what with the way certain adult males (and females nowadays) run around shouting “Up Blues!” “Red Devils!” “You’ll never walk alone!” like demented kids championing their kindergarten sports houses. However in this unique wonderful track - which is my current ringtone, by the way - the talented musician Faze compares his feelings for a girl with the current fan craze for international football. With its distinctive Pidgin English lyrics, this song is the most perfect blend of Highlife horns, Reggae / Dancehall beats and Calypso-influenced steel drums I’ve ever heard. Faze is just too much! Too bad he didn’t mention Enyimba FC though…

Track: Play Ball (from the Album “Originality”)
Artiste: Faze
Transcribed by: Naughty Eyes

J. Sleek. (Hey!)
She dey play ball oh! (Hey!)
And she dey score goal oh!
For my heart-y oh!
And she dey give them kolo (echo)

Verse 1
(Gunners) Na you be my Arsenal for life oh
My true love no be joke, you be my wife oh
(Barca) Barcelona, you too tight oh
Etoo be Number 1, my left and right oh
(Man U.) If you be Man U., I go marry you
You be Red Devil, that’s why I gbadun you
(Chelsea) Chelsea, I too cherish you
(Up Blues, Up Blues!) You dey play no be small, I dey feel you
If you be Marseille oh, I say you dey play well
If she be Bayern Munich, I say you too unique
If she be PSG, Roma, Bonn and Lyon
You dey play well oh

She dey play ball oh!
For my heart-y oh!
She dey score goal oh!
For my heart-y oh!
She dey give them kolo (echo)
She dey dribble them oh!

[Verse 2]
If you be Liver… (Liverpool), Pires you dey give me goose pimples
(You dey give me liver)
Juventus, you be Champion, lai-lai, you no go lose
(You dey make them shiver)
If you be Real Madrid, I say you too real
If she be AC Milan, you’re my Number 1 fan
If she be Inter Milan, baby I’m your main man
She dey play ball oh, you dey play ball oh
Newcastle, no ball without you
If she be Portsmouth oh, I say you get mouth
If she be Bolton oh, if she be Everton oh, and Tottenham oh
She dey tor-tory me oh (Ehn!)

Repeat Chorus

Omo, na red card oh / omo, na yellow card oh / Referee, no do us ojoro /
I say na penalty oh / I say na offside oh / na Hand of God oh /
I say na free kick oh / E go knack goal oh / I say na corner kick oh /
I say na half time oh / I say na over the bar oh /
Na so! Oya, kick am! Play am! Score am!

Repeat Chorus

[Bridge 2]
Oya, kick the ball, nod the ball, chest the ball (Sangalo!)
Ok, kick the ball, nod the ball, trap the ball (Sangalo!)
Oya, kick the ball, nod the ball, chest the ball (Sangalo!)
Kick the ball, nod the ball, trap the ball (Sangalo!)

[Whistle to signal end of Game…]

Lyrics © 2008 Faze & Independent Entertainment