Sunday, December 7, 2008

F**k Mr. Feedjit!

Online - Diatribe

It is indeed rare for me to engage in this kind of diatribe but I just have to say it again:

F**k Mr. Feedjit!

For sometime now I’ve been secretly experimenting with a few minor makeovers to give this blog a new facelift but most of these free stuff just ain’t working. And it’s so exasperating ‘cause I’m paying N120 an hour at the Super-Slowwwww cyber cafĂ© for the frustration when I can get aggravation free of charge just by stepping outside. Moreover it’ so, so annoying especially for someone like me who prides himself in being a PC nerd when technology starts to make a monkey out of you.

Well for those of you who think I’m speaking in tongues, Feedjit is an e-traffic / tracking tool for your blog or website that tells you and humanity in general the geographical (real world) locations of people who drop by to visit your virtual world. I cannot boast to know the full technicalities of the stuff but I think Feedjit uses your PC’s IP (that’s Internet Protocol) address to do this. Its intrusive, Big Brother / Conspiracy Theory dual function is another matter altogether.

If you’ve been doing your blog rounds religiously, then you are bound to have seen and been smoked out by Mr. Feedjit who then conceitedly proclaims for all to see: “Mushin, Lagos arrived from on” or stuff like that, Mushin being your current location. He takes prominent stand on several blogs like Inyamu’s Eldorado, Funmi I’s and so many others out there.

Mr. Feedjit admittedly does bring his own really cool factor to any blog he makes an appearance in but before you Bloggers out there who employ his services start feeling XtraCool (no endorsements intended) just because Mr. Feedjit says “Gravesend, Kent” has discovered your blog (finally, your first overseas blog hit!), just hold your horses! Mr. Feedjit can also be a BIG liar!

As the picture on the left says, Mr. Feedjit seems to think I’m in Abuja FCT, the capital city of Nigeria whereas I’m actually milessssss away down here in the Southwest (click on the picture to see a bigger view). So just in case you see Bangladesh, Turks and Caicos, Hawaii, Barbados, Sudan or Afghanistan on your blog’s Feedjit feed, please kill your rejoicing. The visitor might just be in good old “Egbedore, Osogbo”, “Fola-Agoro, Lagos”, “Abakaliki, Ebonyi” or “Emuoha, Rivers”.

But why all this ranting? Well, I’ve spent a whole lot of my cyber time and loads of money just begging Mr. Feedjit to grace (or disgrace) my blog with his presence to no avail. I mean, admit it: who doesn’t want to see “Iceland, Iceland arrived from on” on their Feedjit feed? (That statement alone gives you double bragging rights - one, the fact that someone all the way from Iceland thinks your blog is so cool enough to visit and two, actually went to the trouble of clicking your link on Funmi I’s blog!)

But Mr. Feedjit has chosen to ignore me and anytime I go through the entire process of trying to put him on my blog I see the same thing: NOTHING!

Click, click: Nothing!

Cut and Paste HTML: Nothing!

Log-in: Nothing!

Refresh: Nothing!

Log out: Nothing…

So Mr. Feedjit, f**K you!

I’m still going to keep on trying to put you on my blog. Whether you like it or not…


~Sirius~ said...

I can imagine the frustration.

rayo said...

pele oh. i get the location thing, my tracker once showed ibadan, me wey i dey lagos ke? anyway, keep trying, mayb its d cyber connection though

exschoolnerd said...

wud definately be adding feedjit to me blog

u still coming 2 lag?

seye said...

Well, see this is how it works...those widgets record your IP address and location and place it on your page. The way it is, when you connect to the internet IN NIGERIA, the IP is assigned from the ISP. Your IP gives a unique ID for identification but's the ISP's server location that is recorded. So, like right now, I am in Ibadan, i use will definitely show LAGOS as my location..because there are no starcomms servers in ibadan.

LG said...

aww pele dear'

Naughty Eyes said...

@ Sirius: Yeah, it’s frustrating isn’t it, especially when some people who barely know where the “Enter” key is on their keyboard have not just one but TWO Feedjits on their blog!
Your first time here I see? Welcome and thanks for dropping by.

@ Rayo: I follow you surprise for the Ibadan ke? What if na one kin bush riverine community Feedjit come talk say you dey? Me sef I happy for the Abuja wey the thing dash me sha. Maybe next time the thing fit even talk say “Aso Rock has arrived from on” Chikena!

@ XsN: Good luck my dear. Hope he doesn’t frustrate you like he did me. I’m still trying to put him up even as I type this. No luck…
And yes, I'm still coming to Lag even if for just one weekend...

@ Seye: Yeah, yeah, I knew it was the whole IP ish that’s responsible for Feedjit’s mis-directions. I’m just beefing them as a sort of warning so that people who put the feed on their blogs don’t start expecting too much. Thanks for the lecture anyway. We appreciate!

@ LG: My sister, abeg helep me warn am oh! If not I trust you nah!

Naughty Eyes said...

@ everyone: Hurray!!!! Seems the dissing finally worked! Mr. Feedjit has finally agreed to (dis)grace my blog with his much anticipated presence. So now I can see all of una!

esquire said...

Good for you. Dissing ALWAYS works, at least for me.

trae_z said...

funny guy. I've been there I've done might be an HTML error, check your code. there just might be something you're not doing right. about your link showing up as being in Abuja when you're in Lagos it's cos your ISP is being powered from an Abuja source...or something like that. for example i use and at one time at a cafe my visits to my own blog were logged as coming from Israel and that was because the cyber cafe ISP was powered from Israel.

contact your tech friends for further explanations. good luck with the blog pimping though

Naughty Eyes said...

@ ESQ: I agree... Dissing ALWAYS works - sometimes negatively...

@ TRAE: Consider my blog PIMPED! Yes, my techno "friends" (e.g. Seye) gave me the lecture already.
PS: Long time for your blog. Na so work tie you reach? Take care!