Where am I headed this time? Well, those of you who visit Niyi Tabiti’s blog (GREAT blog by the way) and Linda Ikeji’s (GREAT chick by the way) would have noticed the quick war of words that went on last week. They’ve both resolved the issue now and I know its stale gist but no-one ever tires of hearing the story of a big fight, abi?
If I was him, no shaking me for do the same thing. From now on, I am going to start targeting celebrities to marry on the Red Carpet like no man business. Oya! Onyeka Onwenu, Eucharia Anunobi, Empress Njamah and (my personal, full-breasted favourite) Mercy Johnson, where una dey?
Speaking of Onyeka Onwenu…
The babe-woman was totally smashing in the skinny jeans and blouse she wore during the Ibadan screening of the talent show that set off her pear-shaped figure so well even my sister complimented her (ladies, beware my sister’s tongue). Surprising because Ms. O’s old enough to be something close to my mother’s younger sister’s age (but abeg, since when did it become a crime to admire better thing/person?) I wonder where that fashion article I read somewhere got the idea that skinny jeans is a no-no for senior babes because it made them look like O.B.Y. (Old But Young)?
On the flip side, Zain’s “Don’t Forget The Lyrics!” is a reality show that doesn’t necessarily judge the voice of the contestants (for a change) but how well they can remember the lyrics of popular tracks in the music category of their choice (see more details below).
It was 9ice (pun intended) seeing the lyrics of the song scroll on the screen though especially one very tricky part I’ve been wounding lyrically for some time now. How could I have guessed that what he was actually singing was “Moet nlo, Hennessey nlo, Bacardi nlo, ohhhhh!!!?” Zain, thank you jare! While we’re at it, can I have the lyrics to “4Kasibe” too? Too hard? OK, what of Femi Kuti’s “Bang, Bang Bang”? Or Zulezoo’s “Kerewa”?
Ehen, back to the gist. My best performance? It was by one guy like that (I always forget guys’ names) who combined 9ice’s lyrics with Klint Da Drunk’s dance steps to produce a new style. Even Onyeka had to dub him “Klint Da 9ice”!
And ahem… ahem… Naija gals are very, very fine o! I mean, check out the fine Ibo babe with the dyed hair and killer glasses whose name is the title of an oldtime highlife track (Osondiowendi). The Asa-wannabe who said she performs at the Premier Hotel, Ibadan told everyone Asa was her role model and yet managed to fluff the second verse of “Jailer”. Or is the chick that did a duet with Onyeka? Abeg, if anybody knows Busola who is a student in Ibadan and who appeared on the Zain show, please tell her I’ll pay 50K sharp-sharp just to get her number. Her face, her voice, her smile, her white blouse with green patterns, her formings sef, all na die! That girl drove me NUTS, men!!!
Interestingly, a third girl, Tega said she studies Wildlife in Ibadan (GROWLLLLLL!!!) And by the way, can someone explain to me how come I can remember all the girl’s names?
And 14th February passes…
Apart from a few other smaller outlets, Tantalizers’ launch brings to two the number of places you can take your sugar-mummies and sugar-daddies to (did I neglect the kids? Sorry…). Mr. Biggs, which has been operating alone for quite a while now, was the first.
Now before those reading this think I have shares in both outlets or that this is a paid advert, no you’re wrong on both counts (I actually don’t like fast-food by the way, I think it’s way too over-priced).
I only mention it in passing because the word “Tantalizers” has now been added to the Osogbo people’s Lexicon of Forming. Heard one girl ask another one as she got on a bike where she was going to when that day of all days was Valentine’s Day.
The responder didn’t hesitate to tell her questioner (loud enough so we all could hear) that she was going to check out the latest fast-food joint.
Photo Credits: Omowunmi Akinnifesi/Niyi Tabiti (Niyi Tabiti’s blog)