Bits And Pieces: Quick Takes On Entertainment

All Media - The Gist - Summarized

Street-ctly Credible
Caught glimpses of 9ice’s “Street Credibility” music video on Celtel’s Central Station Special on Wednesday July 23, around 8:30 pm or so. It’s sure been a long time coming and just like his moniker, the music video is nice too. However, after the initial dose I couldn’t help not feeling a bit unimpressed. The said video contains the same HD camera-shot footage, impressive backdrops, panoramic jib camera angles and feature artistes that are now slowly and steadily become a staple in almost all Nigerian music videos.

The trend is beginning to look like you can get away with a great music video even if the song in question is trash. Whatever happened to funny, simple or just plain crazy music videos? Or the ones with storylines like Djinee’s “I No Dey Shame” or Beautiful Nubia’s OST video for Tunde Kelani’s movie? (And another thought: How come the musical videos’ cinematic innovations are yet to migrate over to Nollywood?)

9ice’s video features the likes of Ruggedman and 2shotz but what really did it for me was Tuface’s T-shirt. Am I seeing double or were the words “Enyimba FC” boldly emblazoned on it? Any eagle eyes out there please spot if this is so and report to me A.S.A.P. Wouldn’t it be great if Nigerian football clubs could get out their own clothing lines instead of all those Premier League knock-offs a.k.a. replica jerseys many Nigerian “fans” crave for?

The Advert Wars
The Bankers are at it again. When they’re not trying to impress us with their lending rates or P & L sheets, they take to slugging it out in the boardroom or the football fields. Or our TV screens for that matter.

It’s no secret that Skye Bank PLC and Bank PHB are always going neck to neck with each other when it comes to advertising but guess what: now I think it’s about time I get to choose the winner.

Ok, so both banks decided to employ good music pieces for their ads. Good point but Skye Bank’s “Yes” attitude didn’t go down well with me when they decided to mutilate the “Lion King” soundtrack. If I was Cobhams Asuquo the Maestro Extraordinaire, I’d have distanced myself from such a debacle.

I guess I speak for all die-hard Disney fans to say I cringe anytime I hear “Hakuna Matata” sounding like it was edited with a machine gun or watch the nonsensical choreography in the two TV versions of that ad. Even my baby niece won’t dance to that.

PHB’s choice of R. Kelly’s “The World’s Greatest” showcasing the extraordinary capabilities of ordinary people (the so-called P H Beings) is the clear Advert War winner. For now…

As for me, I trust neither. It will take more than good music and a beautiful ad to stop me keeping my money under the mattress.

Between Power And Passion
Once upon a time, there was a certain energy drink in powder form called Power Fist that never seemed to catch on with the market even after it adopted the Koko Master as its brand icon. Saw the marketing dames/dudes behind it on one episode of The Apprentice Africa trying to re-brand their stuff.

Passion Energy drink, another competitor in the same sector entered into the game some months back and these guys are choosing to fight dirty even if the weapon employed involves some subtle name-calling. Pray, is there a better explanation for the Passion drink’s slogan which categorically states: Passion Pass Power!

If anyone has another interpretation of this, please let me know.

Sh*t Mennn!
No, I’m not the one swearing but a certain Radio OAP (On-Air Personality) was actually doing so! Happened to catch a certain Radio phone-in programme on LivingSpring 104.5 FM, Osogbo on Wednesday, the 9th of July or thereabouts. Time was going on 11 pm and the topic was on women who double-date.

Now, I don’t know the rationale behind the choice of topic but the contributors seemed to be feeling the gist. Then a certain female caller comes on air. Girlfriend wisely states that “…women date more than one guy because they want to have a spare in case one of them f**ks up”.

Being used to the Rhythm 93.7 Port Harcourt OAPs’ choice of punishment for using expletives which could take one of two forms: either getting the caller to apologize for using the f-word or cutting off the call altogether, I was a little bit uneasy when LivingSpring’s OAP goes ahead to parrot the caller, f-word for f-word.

Now I ain’t no prude but I sure was startled when the call drops while female caller was stating her point and homeboy yells out: “Sh*t Mennn! What is wrong with this network?”

No bad feelings, brother. I feel your pain too! Let’s just keep it clean on-air, OK?

Still Speaking of Ads…
After dissing them on the subject, the Onga Ad disappeared for a while and I thought they were listening. Who-sai? The ad is back in full force, further incurring my wrath and continuously embarrassing my poor dear Kate all the time. Unlike many people, I happen to really watch adverts - almost with movie-like dedication I must add.

Her excessively made-up “daughter” in that ad who brandishes an equally heavily made-up accent by the way, looks like she should be almost Kate’s age (hence the make-up) and I don’t still get the Onga/Tradition link.

Can anybody explain that ad to me as well? Maybe I’m getting slow… or maybe Iya Basira has been putting too much Onga in my food again…

Ko Won Je
That’s the title of another video I caught on CCS. This one is by Big Bamo featuring Tolu, all formerly of Maintain fame. The beat was good, I liked the changing tempos and switched beats and those killer dancers (they look like kids to me - I’m seeing double again) sure know how to step.

My only beef? The set did look a tad monotonous throughout the video. And as for the rap? Guess I didn’t notice till now how Olu and Tolu sound so alike.

And GUSsy Comes Visiting…
Lest I forget, my TV friend came visiting at night on the 19th of July. That’s right, the Gulder Ultimate Search began in earnest just as I’d hinted you earlier and this time there was no postponement in broadcast like after the unfortunate circumstances of last year.

In fact if death would have been mentioned in the same breath as GUSsy, it must have been when I was swearing at the maloo NTA Program Scheduler. Whoever it was decided to start showing Charley Boy and Tunde Obey’s “Zoomtime” in the time slot that had been hyped all day for the Ultimate Search. Luckily for them, me and the TV I almost smashed, they switched back just in time for me to see re-runs of the previous editions of GUS.

OK, the re-runs are long over, the selected 40 have been drilled at the Lagos Sea School and the preliminary 18 whittled down to the final 10 Ultimate Men and Women. So, grab your remotes, refuel your generators, and get ready to be entertained for the next 11 days or so.