Religious Stupidity And Other Such (Newspaper) Utterances

In one of the opening scenes of The Rock, one of my all-time favourite movies, Nicholas Cage’s character, Dr. Stanley Goodspeed takes a day off work, sits down at home with a guitar and contemplates the justification of raising -- not to talk of having -- children in such an evil world.

You can’t blame him really for having such “un-African” thoughts. A short while ago, he just frantically defused a chemical weapon that almost claimed not just his life but those of his colleagues as well. The bomb in question came disguised as, of all things, a baby doll.

Recently, while going through The Guardian Newspapers of Tuesday, February 24th, I have thought these same thoughts. Is this the kind of Nigerian society I would like to raise my future kids to see?

Violence Escalates In Bauchi, CAN seeks emergency ruleAdmittedly, I had no previous idea that there was on-going sectarian violence in Bauchi State not to mention the fact that it went on for 2 days before making the papers. Equally annoying (to me at least) was also the fact that there was no official Federal Government pronouncement on the issue. It was as if what was going on in Bauchi wasn’t happening at all.

Once again, commonsense became a non-existent commodity as my dear brothers and sisters went on rampage killing, maiming and destroying the toil and sweat of their fellow common men all in the name of religion and a church’s parking space during a Friday Jumat service.

My fellow country-people, where are our senses? When will we learn that the only ones we hurt when we carry out murder and arson in the name of the Almighty are we ourselves? Time after time, the leaders of different religious sects come out publicly to tell us that none of their tenets endorse such incessant cycles of violence and yet none can explain to us how come they are incapable of restraining their followers from taking the laws into their own hands.

When you burn your pensioner neighbour’s house built at the expense of the sweat of his 35 years of meritorious service or you kill the akara seller’s 25-year old son all in the name of exacting revenge for your Creator whose Commandments explicitly forbid the very act, I can then only wonder as to the wisdom of these our counterfeit religiosities or the sanity of we its followers.

Equally frightening was CAN’s proposed bill to the National Assembly that Nigerians aged 21 and above be granted the legality of obtaining weapons for defense against violent attacks by miscreants. My people, in these days when my dear country is unsure of who defines a miscreant or what constitutes self-defense, does it make any sense to further give insanity a license?

It is shocking, says PDP
The shock in question in this instance arising from the fact that the political party lost its governorship seat in Ondo State to Dr. Olusegun Mimiko in an Appeal Court judgment. Normally, I am not one to trade issues on politics but a statement credited to PDP’s national publicity Secretary, Prof. Rufai Ahmed Alkali, does make for interesting reading. While commenting on the issue, Alkali has this to say, and I quote:

“While our faith in the judiciary remains unwavering, we are deeply concerned with the trend of judgments, some of which breed unnecessary tension and instability. It is our belief that the uncertainties that characterize some of these judgments do not augur well for the sustenance of our democracy.”

Correct me if I’m wrong but is Prof. Alkali implying that the judiciary ought to rule in favour of a governorship aspirant whose party was accused of corrupt electoral practices just so as to avoid breeding “unnecessary tension and instability” as Alkali puts it?

Between me and Prof. Alkali, one of us seems to be getting our Law Logic 101 mixed-up because I fail to see how an Appeal Court overturning a fraudulent decision to favour the people’s choice in Ondo and other states with disputed election results “doesn’t augur well for the sustenance of democracy”.

Is Alkali thus suggesting that by allowing governors who rig elections to hold on to illegal mandates, our fledgling nascent democracy (a term I dislike) is further nurtured and strengthened? One would have thought that the imposition of a corrupt governorship candidate is the very thing that “breeds unnecessary tension” and definitely does not “augur well for the sustenance of democracy”.

I think it’s high time PDP and all other political parties as well realize that it isn’t the number of governorship seats they win that matter but how well their elected governors represent the interests of the common man they all swore to serve and protect on their Swearing-In days. And how transparent the process that got them there was in the first place…

Akpabio seeks capital punishment for kidnappers
Akwa Ibom State Governor, Godswill Akpabio stated during the child dedication of his Special Assistant on Projects Monitoring that plans are underway by his state government to send a bill that makes kidnapping punishable by death for passage into law.

I have just one thing to say to this and it’s no different from what I said on the proposed self-defense bill: given our tendency for adjusting Dictionary definitions to suit our meanings, who then gets to define the meaning of the word kidnapping?

Not surprising in a nation whose Police is yet to give proper definitions to the terms: bail and rape. Or what should constitute your vehicle particulars…

Vision 2020 still a mirage, says governor
Yet another statement from a Governor, this time Anambra State’s Peter Obi who said this while delivering a lecture at NIPSS Kuru. Inasmuch as I agree with Obi’s utterances concerning the futility in the 2020 dream especially due to the lack of implementation of any of its policies, I find an excerpt from Gov. Obi’s lecture to be very revealing.

While comparing Ghana and Nigeria, Obi said that recently, there was a public outcry in Ghana over that country’s Speaker’s planned $16, 000 - funded, 3-weeks holiday which compelled the Speaker to return the money. Now here’s the interesting part:

Obi said, “If it were in Nigeria, nobody would raise any alarm. In fact, it was not even up to the amount of money Nigeria(n) public servants give to their girlfriends.”

Kindly notice that the emphasis on part of the above quote is mine. I’m not so sure about the “raising an alarm” bit of it but I have no doubt in my mind that Obi should be familiar with the implications of the “girlfriend allowance” part of his statement seeing that as one of Nigeria’s topmost public servants, he also belongs to the group he just so self-righteously fingered…

In Conclusion...
While many may not share my views on the above, I do feel apprehensive about these examples of rudder-lessness we continuously display for our children to copy through our utterances and actions -- or the lack thereof. Are these highlighted statements above the issues I would want my kids to keep in mind whenever they sing that part of the national anthem where it says: “The labours of our heroes past shall never be in vain”?

Constantly I ask myself the same question they shall ask of us then: what “labours”? What are we doing now to make this country one which they can boast of and say they are “Proudly Nigerian” then?

On a lighter note, it wasn’t all Doomsday material in the papers. There were the Art pages partly focusing on the Society of Nigeria Artists’ elections beginning on page 116, a piece on the dignity of the courts written by Babatunde Raji Fashola, SAN (no other) and two rather remarkable Letters to the Editor on page 20. Both concerned past military leaders but the more interesting one was Nkeiruka Abanna’s “Letter to Gen. Murtala Muhammed” which had this rather thought-provoking statement concerning the Nigerian Youth:

“The youth, whether learned or not have lost their psyche, evolving into criminals smarter than any security operatives, taking crime to the next level while mothers wonder if these criminals trying to out-do each other lived in their wombs for nine months”

One moot point the above statement did miss was that the mothers (surprisingly) still tie the lace and wear the gele these criminals buy, abi? Thought for another post…

Also of note was the Rotary Club of Lagos’ donation of free medical check-up to 500 people, the kick-off of Brazil’s Carnival by quote, dancers and drum bands marching behind topless, sequined beauties, unquote and the beginning of the Lenten period marked by Ash Wednesday.

And not forgetting my current area of specialization, the Vacancies…

No Victor, No Vanquished: Who Really Cares…?

TV - Documentary/History - The Gist

Sometime in the ‘90s…
It must have been around the holidays because I was mighty bored that day. Seeing that my elder brother (who was majoring in History at the university by that time) had left one of his textbooks around, I decided to kill time by reading about notable historical personalities.

Adolf Hitler, Mahatma Ghandi, Yassar Arafat, Winston Churchill and a couple of colourfully paged biographies later and I couldn’t help reflecting: “What the hell were some of these guys thinking? Bet I would have done that better…!”

March 2006…
Fast-forward to the first quarter of 2006, in the service of the Fatherland. 3 weeks after sharing a camp with total strangers, I was being shunted off to a tough Local Government Area that suffered from water problems but had the most picturesque scenery I’d ever seen.

After being rejected from my initial posting, I trade places with a stuttering colleague to take his teaching place in a school. Despite the rapidly dwindling student population, the shrill voices of the kindergarten kids still carries into the “staff room” as they religiously chant the names of the 36 states and capitals, thrice a day - just like medicine.

Before I gladly terminate my appointment a year later, another female colleague spots what has been bugging us concerning that recital. The kids are just mentioning 35 out of the original 36 states! The one being omitted is another issue altogether…

May 5, 2008 circa 11:00pm...
I’m lying down awake in my room closely monitoring the NTA broadcast and wishing I had enough money to pay for a cable TV subscription. Due to a certain eccentric employee of the Power Holding Corporation who runs a crazy rotational power-sharing scheme, my house only gets to receive power on alternate days. Predictably, this messes up my TV-viewing schedule when it comes to daily Reality TV. By the same time next week, I’m guaranteed to miss any great weekly TV show I happen to catch this week. Now I’ll have to add a generating set and fueling costs to that cable bill…

Eagerly anticipating that day’s episode of Star Quest (I missed the previous day’s and I’ll miss the next), I am therefore shocked when NTA starts broadcasting their post-Civil War chronicle; a series of documentaries called “No Victor, No Vanquished” which is a historical and analytical narrative of the events that led to and occurred during and immediately after the Nigerian Civil War.

Why am I bringing this all up? Well, for those of you who do not know, the Nigerian Civil War was fought from June 6, 1967 to January 13, 1970 between the Federal Republic of Nigeria soldiers and the secessionist Biafran forces (led then by General Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu) who wanted to pull out of the country to form the Republic of Biafra. Nigeria at that time was ruled by General Yakubu Gowon.

For 30 months, the war raged taking its toll on the military and civilian populace as fierce battles, air strikes, reprisal killings, community decimations and totally false political propaganda became the order of the day. The financial, moral, ethical and psychological scars as well as the many other unknown effects of that war are still present till today even though the newer generations of Nigerians have tried hard to bury the events and forget the memories.

What is my view concerning all this? Despite my semi-Eastern Nigerian origins and the tales of horror I’ve heard my parents recount, I have chosen to largely remain blissfully ignorant and never to take sides in a battle I wasn’t even around to witness. But every once in a while, whenever sectional violence breaks out across the ethnic divides of my dearly beloved country the deeply lodged animosities boil up again to the surface to confront the ideals of ye leaders past of older generations who strove hard to ensure that Nigeria remained one at all costs.

The younger generation, who by now mostly embrace the notions of intermarriage, are immediately faced with tough and confusing challenges as one’s wife, lover and friend suddenly attains the enemy status just because a tiny group of people many hundreds of kilometers clash with an equally tiny group of herdsmen over cattle grazing rights.

Or aspiring lawyers, mechanics, doctors, businessmen, seamstresses, car washers, area boys and prostitutes each hustling in equal measure for their daily bread, lay down their lives all for the noble cause of a young man who chooses to defecate in a rival’s uncompleted building or a young sixteen year old swollen with the passions of her first true love and the first stages of gestation for a misguided Youth Corp member serving in her school.

The things that have continued to spark off the raw tinder of the fires of our national divide have even lesser values than these cited examples and once in a while a movie is screened, a book published or TV documentary broadcast each portraying the events of the past through the eyes of its intellectual creator while carrying an underlying message that this evil should not visit our doorsteps again. But are these lessons in history really necessary? After all, are we really listening?

NTA’s “No Victor, No Vanquished” will not be the needed balm for soothing these long-hidden wounds nor will it be the panacea to the millions of people who lost friends, neighbours, siblings and relations and whose collective destinies changed with the drop of an exploded shell. For while critically watching it(as opposed to casual viewing), I only find a programme which will give the older generation a new cause to cast fresh accusing fingers over debatably outdated facts and also give the new generation an even bigger reason to feel disdain and disconnect from the labours of our leaders past.

Caught up in the web of wide-spread economic devastation brought about by some of these precedent hallowed, halo-clad despots, inspired by the glamour-filled lifestyles and quick wealth of the nouveau riche and bombarded by the peer- and parental pressure-filled mandatory success guidelines of top-notch jobs, fat salaries, fast cars, duplex accommodation, work-hard-play-even harder life standards and the obligatory multiple sex partners all acquired before the ideal age of 24, many a Nigerian youth is not interested in watching old men trade blames over who caused a war that may or may not have brought about all these problems in the first place.

Instead, we are watching Star Quest and hoping to be instant musical stars. We are watching The Apprentice Africa and hoping that through hook or crook, we just might be Mr. Shobanjo’s apprentices. We are glued literarily to AMBO and The Next Movie Star and hoping to break into the sleazy lifestyle of our dear Nollywoodians or we are reading about their crazy scandals in the soft sell magazines. We have lost our senses and buried our attention in following old Mexican soaps with more twists and turns in their plots than the Onitsha-Owerri road.

Don’t blame us. In our usual way of passing the buck, maybe part of the blame should go to the national education system. Let’s blame the schools who are now so good at brainwashing and indoctrination that our children are now shunning Physical and Health Education and the playground to go for junk food during break time. My niece’s boarding school in a quest for Religious neutrality recently decided to conduct joint Worship services instead of allowing the kids go to their individual churches. And in kindergarten, the letter ‘Y” doesn’t stand for Yam anymore. That’s so uncool. It now stands for Yacht… Or maybe Yahoozee!

That fresh generation will never know the black and white Television or any electrical device for that matter that has no remote control. Many will never see a turntable, a spin dial telephone, VHS tapes or a dugout canoe. Many have never been taken to museums by their over-worked, over-stressed parents whose notion of a family get-together is plunking down their kids in the latest fast-food outlet that probably has a bouncy castle. And many will never care to know or be taught about the Nigerian Civil War or its repercussions.

When a school chooses to teach her kindergarten kids just 35 out of the 36 states in Nigeria, then we can now say: Congratulations! What do we care about history? After all, Social Studies is now truly and totally dead.

As for me, I do not still know Nigeria well enough and so I must search for more. While continuously doing my research and even prior to writing this piece I still find that the debate over who was right and who was wrong and who did what still rages on till now, 38 years after. You can gather all the information you want, my dear generation, and hear all the horror stories your parents will tell but the truth is that we were not there when it happened. Whatsoever you will hear, read or view will depend on the perspective of your sources. And in wars, the greatest casualties are women, children and common sense.

They claim there was No Victor, No Vanquished. The choice of what to believe is YOURS…

The Twelfth Commandment

All Media - Advertising - The Gist

No, it’s not what you think. The title of this post isn’t the title of a movie I’m reviewing. It isn’t an album either neither is it a documentary. It’s just an experience I’ve gone through recently that I thought I should share with you.

Do you know those automatic cash dispensers better known as ATMs (Automated/Automatic Teller Machines)? When they were introduced into the Nigerian financial scene by the banking sector I was one of the few people that danced madly in joy over the news. The reason for this was clear. In my line of thinking, ATMs meant PC Networking, Networking meant Computers and Computers meant Civilization. Hurray! Digital Civilization had come to Nigeria!

I remember waiting earnestly for my bank to issue me with the cherished plastic. After years of running a paper-based account I was finally going to say good riddance to the things of old and move up to the swipe-and-pay. No more torn bank books for me or having to sign twice behind the slip after waiting 30 minutes for the female cashier to freshen her make-up or the male one to stop chatting up the girl ahead of me in the queue.

And so one day it was my turn to be issued with plastic cash. My happiness knew no bounds. I wasn’t swayed by the fact that it wasn’t exactly a license for uncontrolled spending (a.k.a. a credit card) or that a few days ago, I’d read an article in a national newspaper captioned: “Beware of the Automated Thieving Machine”. Not even the mandatory 2-day wait for my account to fully migrate to digitaldom or the 105 Naira ATM charge deducted at my first withdrawal was going to dampen my enthusiasm. I had unshakeable faith in digital power!

“Wetin concern Media Nemesis with ATM?” you might ask. Well maybe it’s the media content developer in me. Deep in my mind every time I approach the automated money-doler, I can’t help but wonder how much underutilized these machines are in reaching out to people. All the ATMs I know just play annoyingly short and rubbishy repetitive snippets of classical music which a digital voice tells you to wait for your transaction. And the screens mostly deliver adverts tailored only towards the deploying financial institution offering you crazy loan schemes.

Now I’ll need your help here. I want you to close your eyes and imagine…

Imagine if the FIRST TIME you heard bits of Sasha’s “Adara”, 9ice’s “Gongo Aso” or P-Square’s “Do Me” was on an ATM machine! I can imagine the conversation going something like this:

A: Have you heard the latest?

B: No! Wetin dey?

A: Ah! You too slack oh! P-Square now have a new hit track out!

B: Oh yeah? Where you hear am? Which radio station?

A: Radio ke? Have you been to XYZ Bank lately?

B: No! When I no get money? Abi you pay inside my account?

A: Pay wetin? Abeg check out their ATM jo! Even if you just go there and pretend to do an Account Inquiry, you’ll hear all the latest tracks pumping out from the speakers. I even heard D-Banj’s latest CD there too. And there’s Ruggedman, Konga, Weird MC, Sammy Okposo, BOUQUI, even the latest boys from Aba…

B: Eh! Abeg I dey go there now-now Make e no be say na me be the last to hear am.

Yeah, I know the idea might even sound lame but how would we know the efficacy of it if we never try it out anyway? CD releases, Nollywood movie trailers and screenings times, shows and events, indeed everything entertainingly gratifying could turn out to be fodder for this advertising cannon. Still imagining, just reflect on the even more numbers of customers they might reach if the telecom companies partner with banks to lease some ATM screen space to advertise their promos.

It’s not just the telecoms either. Imagine if Bank PHB gave us all the updates on The Apprentice Africa via their ATM screens and printed out the viewing times along with your financial details on the ATM receipt? Imagine if Skye Bank had printed out special complimentary Celebrity Takes 2 tickets for customers who use the ATM a certain number of times? Or if UBA had dome the same thing for the 2008 AMMAs? It’s a well worn cliché but if media marketers had just a little bit of imagination to utilize the numerous ATMs around instead of scrambling to erect massive bridge-like billboards, the possibilities would just start becoming endless.

Of course, typical with the Nigerian-faddish way of thinking, the possibilities of abuse would be endless too.

One can equally imagine the resulting cacophony that would result from the simple act of turning an ATM into a jukebox as neighboring banks would jostle not just for our accounts but our auditory senses as well. The issue of copyright infringement would also rear its ugly head in the hallowed halls of banking as greedy marketers no doubt would eagerly sign up to sell the same content to competing banks without any resultant remuneration to the artistes themselves. And which octogenarian would want to have his/her slowly failing hearing damaged more by “Do Me” blaring from a machine that’s already tough enough to manipulate as it is?

And if the marketers were given domain over the ATM screen then it would become an advertising Armageddon even worse than what we get when watching TV soaps. We’d be made to spend more and more time waiting for our transactions as we are bombarded with commercials for soaps, toothpaste, churches, cigarettes, condoms, furniture, milk, sweets, and yes, the banks too. The advert glut and the resulting chaos from it might be enough to even make you hunger once more for the days of paper…

My reverie is over. Much as the ATM symbolizes a movement towards the digital future for Nigeria I think I’d rather leave them as they are for now. ATM-based marketing can further enhance the entertainment experience if well handled but when last did we ever handle anything right?

Now going back to the title of this post, I assume everyone knows the 11th Commandment, right? (In case you didn’t it is this: Thou shall not get caught.) Well, recently, I was FLAT BROKE but that wasn’t enough to shake me like in the past. After calmly strolling to my friendly neighbourhood ATM in my friendly neighbourhood UBA premises, I slotted in the plastic key to my account and dutifully followed all the instructions on the screen. Of course, the amount was also dutifully deducted from my account and the card dutifully popped out…WITHOUT THE MONEY!!!

Not believing what I was seeing, I decided to take up the case with Customer Care. Unfortunately, the guards who must have heard all the ATM tales of woe dutifully and politely blocked the door (it was almost 6pm) and told me the problem would resolve itself within 48 hours.

48 hours?!? Now I was mad! Having nothing more on me than a damaged N20 note and none of my pride, I first tried to bluff, then seeing that wouldn’t work, I put on my best British aristocrat mannerism and politely asked the guards for a tiny N20 loan to find my way home. The guards in question must have heard those lines several times too because they both politely shook their heads: NO.

I was too weak to even drop the Briton routine and switch back to my Agbero one. To cut the long story short, a young Police dude who’d suffered the same ATM dupery saved the situation by lending me the said amount without even wanting to know if he’d ever see me again. Now I can’t really say bad things about the Police anymore.

For someone like me who likes to throw money around when people ask for my help, it sure humbled me how desperate one can go for just N20. And yes, the money did revert back to the card within the 48 hours as promised.

What lessons have I learnt from this? You just might consider taking your bank book along ‘cause you just might not know when that ATM will disappoint you. And I have learnt the Twelfth Commandment: THOU SHALL NEVER TRUST AN ATM…

PS: In case the whole idea of ATM marketing fully kicks off in Nigeria and becomes a money spinner for advert companies and media execs, just remember: I said it first!

Sasha's First Lady

Music - Review - Album

Artiste: Sasha

Album: First Lady

Tracks: 14 plus 2 Bonus (64 mins 34 secs)

Producers: BIG-LO, TY Mix, Naeto-C, Paul Play, VC Perez, Cobhams Asuquo, el Dee Tha Don, Panji
Label: Storm Records Nigeria

Released: 2007

Reviewed: 15th Jan 2008

Remember Evi Edna Ogoli? Forget her for a while … Forget Onyeka Onwenu… Forget even the Muma Gees, Kweens, BOUQUI and the infrequent Stella Damasus Aboderin. Forget for a moment all the beautiful female Nigerian musicians who have ever sung a chord. Sasha is undoubtedly the SEXIEST, SASSIEST, BOMBSHELL WHO HAS EVER ROCKED A MIC. PERIOD!

In the good looks arena, this female MC has all it takes to grace the screen confirming the sculpting prowess of the Creator. Oozing pure sexual appeal despite her modest and sensible dress sense this rapper/lawyer/fashion designer/columnist drops the lines hotter than any other female on the Nigerian lyrical map creating a very wide gap between her and any other wannabes. In an industry where the female gladiators are virtually scarce, this Word Empress definitely wears the crown. And she never lets you forget it.

Okay… the male drooling is over.

Physical looks aside, what many critics might have against Sasha and her breed is their seeming lack of originality. You need not be a professor of music to know that Sasha and virtually all other female rappers borrow heavily from the likes of the original “Pitbull in a Skirt”, the rapper Eve and Lil’ Kim. Even the title of this album seems to supports this: Eve’s debut album was actually titled “Ruff Ryders' First Lady” but as Sasha repeatedly points out, this is Storm Records “First Lady” though… Same difference.

One aspect of being the leader in a game of few is that by now almost everyone knows the in-depth history of Sasha right from when she first hooked up with the OB Crew then later blew up with the Trybesmen. Reeling out her history is thus like retelling a time-worn story. After a hit single, several guest appearances and a 3-year semi-hiatus, Sasha herself confirms on her First Lady album sleeve that the dream of putting all her individually talented mind-blowing acts together to form an album has been a long time coming. That time has now come.

First Lady is a 14-track album (with 2 bonus tracks) that features collaborations with the likes of Naeto-C, Ikechukwu, GT the Guitarman, (all from the Storm label), Niyola and Asa. One look at this potpourri of some of Nigeria’s best vocal talents could instantly make an audiophile develop an anticipatory hunger for the ultimate audio experience. Unfortunately these gale-force winds rarely approach the hurricane level the listener might hope for after going through the album cover. These stars no doubt, shine on the individual tracks they feature on but apart from a few exceptions the general feeling is that they sometimes sound a bit downplayed so as not to divert attention from Sasha’s lines.

A similar mention goes for the production crew. Having as much as 8 producers on a CD (though not an error in ANY way) obviously makes it look like everyone wants a taste of the Sasha action. Nothing is wrong with having multiple producers on tracks (especially if the end result is the desired one) except the production talent does seems a tad too crowded.

Take out the all-black CD from its well-designed cardboard (?) jacket, pop it into your CD players and you definitely won’t be disappointed. Beginning with the opening bars of the National anthem and a blare of horns, Sasha starts to stamp her authority right from the “Intro”. She proclaims herself the legendry queen of the rap game in so many words and figuratively tells the competition what exactly to do with themselves: Bow Down!

The same theme also pervades the second track “E Ti Da Mo” which makes this Big-Lo produced track sound a bit cliché. You’d be forgiven if you think it’s basically an extension of the Intro but with a Yoruba hook. The self-proclaimed Naija’s Female MVP rides roughshod over all her competition in her lyrics and then throws in a mischievous-sounding chant towards the very end. As is usual with Western Nigeria-influenced music in general, if you do not know the language, you end up being forced to sing a chorus and lyrics which you barely understand. E Ti Da Mo’s chorus is very catchy but: Translations anyone?

After that comes “Adara”, Sasha’s love song from the heart telling the story of the struggles she and other musicians alike face while also doubling as a female liberation anthem in its very last verse. Comprising of the best rap lines, flow, hook, instrumentation and production, THIS is UNDOUBTEDLY the VERY BEST track in the whole CD! And 140 over million Nigerians can’t be wrong. Enough said!

The entire album does suffer slightly from this single song’s success. As many people were quick to learn with the 100% success of Olu Maintain’s “Yahoozee!” track, the biggest friends and fiends of a hit song are over-rotation and excessive airplay. Long before many even knew Sasha would drop an album, its hit single “Adara” was already racking up points on local radio and TV (as well as that international barometer of music videos known as MTV Base). Those in the know could sense she had something hot cooking. The rest of the general populace just danced their heart out to the beat, sang the hook and didn’t pay too much attention to the lyrics…

“Only One” picks up on the second theme of this CD. Featuring a very good hook (most likely sung by Naeto-C) this love ballad tells of a guy promising all the lovely things he can offer to a choosy, very doubtful yet boastful Sasha. As she says, “It’s gonna take a whole lot more to drive me crazy”. A very sing-able track, it catches on quickly with continuous replay which is a good thing by the way.

By the time you get to track 5, “Not 2nite” it seems one gets what the drift of the entire CD is. Sad but true, this CD seems to be dogged by a continuation of themes from the previous track to the next with just slight variations. In similar fashion, “Not 2nite” represents the same ideas only this time the guy seems more convincing while the gal more pliable as she promises to “ride with him but not tonight”. For continuity sake, this track is equivalent to the satisfaction of taking the same boring journey twice but with a slightly different diversion.

The love story theme unfolds further as Sasha discovers the guy has been doing some cheating on the side in “Strong Thing”. Another very catchy track, the irresistible dancehall flavour as well as the singing style smells very strongly of the Sean Paul experience. Pype who features on this one sounds like a mix of 70% Sean Paul and 30% Marvelous Bengy. Great song undoubtedly… if only he’d create his own individual style. But we’re not reviewing his album right now, are we?

The love chase/cheating theme does an about-turn for a while in “Jeje” which Sasha delivers mostly in her synthesized singsong “squeal baby/ little girl” vocal style. This deviation from her normal rapping flow makes a refreshing change to the tempo of all the previous songs as she tells a promiscuous guy that wants her to go jeje (slowly). The language barrier does come in a bit in this song too though it isn’t difficult to figure out what it’s all about. This is another wonderfully lovable song.

“So Occupied” tells two stories to show how we neglect those around us when they most need a helping hand. Without intentionally wanting to draw parallels, this track quickly brings to mind Kelly Rowland’s “Stole” or Eminem’s “Stan” though the similarities end there. Sasha’s very positive vibes drives the message straight home as she says, “If you want to help, you don’t need an invite/ Spread love, give life”.

The lyrics to this track put you in a deeply pensive, reflective mood as Sasha’s last words echo through your head: “This is feel-good music but don’t lose the lesson”

Still rolling on the success of his hit single, “The Dreamer”, GT The Guitarman features on “Baba Mi”, a tribute to Sasha’s deceased father. Apart from probably strumming his guitar and singing a few chords in the chorus his contribution though seems a bit hazy. This is probably due to the fact that the female background vocalist would have carried off the chorus all on her own. A Yoruba incantation (also known as an “Oriki”?) is thrown in for full measure. This song is perceptibly Sasha’s second love song from the heart emphasizing the strong father-daughter bond that must have existed between them.

To round off the picture a little, Sasha throws in the ubiquitous National chant seemingly necessary in every Nigerian hip-hop CD with its patriotic or unpatriotic bent depending on the discretion of the artiste. Similarities are an issue here again as “Proudly Nigerian” very loosely mirrors Infinity’s “Nigerian” even down to the children doing the vocals towards the end. Niyola does a very good job on the secondary vocals.

Back to the love/cheating/break-up theme (again?) as Asa pitches in her flavour to make “Let Me Go” a success. This track which sounds like what you’d hear in a Blues - Soul café makes the message clear as both females tell the guy in question to basically hit the road, grey and don’t come back no more. If not for the over-popularity of “Adara”, one can say without question that this is the numero uno of the entire CD. Asa’s yoruba-rized Eryka Badu-esque soul tones and Sasha’s rhyme flow makes this a favourite any time.

“Always” is yet another sisters' anthem with a lovely beat but the Queen of Beats Award definitely goes to “Run With It”. This is the kind of dancehall vibe that makes you hungry to watch its music video whenever it eventually comes out. It would be wonderful to see how the choreographer interprets the beat. Curiously, Sasha’s hype woman (whoever she is) is definitely another talented female rapper as she effortlessly escorts Sasha vocally throughout the track. Unfortunately she remains uncredited on the album sleeve.

By the time you get to the “Outro” which is almost the same as the Intro with additional material from Ikechukwu and Naeto-C and appreciations from Sasha, you either want to begin the entire experience all over again or you just keep away the CD for now for the next inevitable rotation. Why? Because this CD definitely has longetivity ingrained in its grooves, pits and tracks. As a bonus, the listener gets a remix of “E Ti Da Mo” (which though, like most remixes, is actually unnecessary) and “Emile Gan”, the joint that really blew her up all over the place before her romance with the Storm Records label.

In conclusion, the greatest nightmare that bedevils any album is the singular popularity of just one track over the entire album and First Lady suffers the same dilemma. This album will definitely be a hard sell for anyone over the 35-year-old age mark mainly due to its very strong hip-hop flavour which Sasha successfully tries to tone down with the inclusion of her heartfelt tracks. She therefore deserves ALL the FULL commendation for this worthwhile effort and here’s hoping she keeps looking ravishing while spitting those lines and hooks for years to come. This album rates at 3.5 out of 5 so what more is there to say? Go buy this CD because the Storm is definitely in the building!

PS: Can’t get enough of Sasha? Check out her MySpace page here. Be ready for a design shock though because the black background and mixed colour fonts just don’t cut it. Storm, are you in this building?

MN: The Philosophy

All Media - The Gist

Hi there everyone! Good News… Media Nemesis is still up and running. Better News… the anticipation is building. Best News… expect my very first review next post.

Want to know what I’m reviewing next post? Well, I’ve let the cat out of the bag at the end of this piece. But that is a post for another day. What I’m going to try and do today is get really serious and explain the Philosophy / Ideology behind Media Nemesis without using too many ambiguous words. (Did you ever notice that the word “ambiguous” sounds well… ambiguous?)

First, the Name:
Take the name Media Nemesis literally and you get this -

media: mass media - organizations such as TV, radio and newspapers that provide news, entertainment and information for the public

nemesis: literary - a punishment that is deserved and cannot be avoided; retributive justice

Figuratively though, the Media Nemesis name embodies a stage where the elements that make up what the Nigerian public sees, hears or reads as entertainment are appreciated, studied and x-rayed through my limited microscope. Limited? Yes! Even I am not so vain as to assume I’m Mr. Know-It-All.
Despite the negative connotation of the word ‘nemesis’, the key word here is JUSTICE. Due praise will be given to those who have earned it and due punishment, meted out literarily to those that deserve it.

Second, the Philosophy:
As explained in the previous post, the Philosophy behind Media Nemesis is this: Get shaped, give us the Best Possible Entertainment within budget costs, encourage Talent, Imagination, a bit of Radicalism and lots of Creativity OR get EATEN!!! With the number of years we’ve devoted to making and embracing entertainment, Mediocrity is no longer acceptable neither is Budget Limitation an excuse for lack of talent or a similar absence of Creativity.

Third, the Audience:
MN is for everyone who possesses two simple attributes: A Love for Entertainment and Objectivity. For those who possess these two qualities, even the obligatory long lengths of review reading material pose no deterrent.

Fourth, the Motto:
One of the mottos (out of the several) of MN is: No Friends, No Foes, No Godfathers… All are equal in the MN Arena and the views of friends, foes, critics and no-good busybodies will be welcome and where appropriate, even PUBLISHED.

Fifth, the Areas:
News, reviews, TV, movies, books, multimedia (even encompassing video games and interactive content), websites, blogs, etc. You name it, MN covers it!

Lastly, the Contributors:
In sharp contrast to several blogs and in tandem with the fourth point I just made, MN is an Open Forum blog. All objective contributions will be acknowledged and published where applicable though MAINLY at MY discretion.
Why encourage Public Contributors? Well, it would be impossible for me to personally cover and review every bit of local and international entertainment and moreover, a contributor might write a Review or a Rejoinder to one even better that I do.
And not even the Media Nemesis blog is too sacred to be criticized…

Want to be a Contributor, Correspondent or Respondent? Just send your contributions via e-mail to medianemesis@gmail.com or click on the Comments links to publish your comments. ALL contributions (stating name, nickname or e-mail address if possible) are welcome providing that the contributor acknowledges that the blogmaster has the discretion to edit the submitted material for relevance and brevity before publishing and to use same in any other way or media deemed fit though firstly with permission from the original contributor when possible… OK, I shut up!

PS: What better way to start my very first review that to kick-off with the Musical Album Review of Storm Records’ self-proclaimed 1st Lady, Sasha and her debut album aptly titled… you guessed right! “FIRST LADY”. Watch out!
See you next post!

Welcome to Media Nemesis

All Media - The Gist

Quote: “Television - all it has ever done is teach people how to tolerate mediocre entertainment”
Observer

Are you one out of the millions of Nigerians who possess a passionate love for all forms of entertainment and a critical eye for the media sector in general? Do you feel it’s about time the media shaped up? Are you fed up with being force-fed with run-of the-mill fare? Then this blog is for you!

What do you call a blog whose main attention is the objective, humourous, satirical (and occasionally sarcastic) review / critique of the (mostly Nigerian) mass media written from the point of view of an observer with an undisputable passion for entertainment, a fanatical addiction for music and an unfaithful love for television? You call it: Media Nemesis.

Welcome to my blog, my arena to express my views on what I feel is mainly wrong and mostly right with the larger entertainment scene just outside the immediate environs of our senses. Mediocrity is the ailment, Entertainment is the cure and Media Nemesis is my stethoscope.

Despite the seeming solemnity of the views expressed in this blog, I should probably here advice that readers may do well to take some things here with a bit of reservation, the proverbial pinch of salt. Just ask most chefs though and they will tell you that pinch can make all the difference between a masterpiece dish and supper left-overs. What exactly am I driving at? Though I take my blog and the views expressed therein seriously, there is no apparent need for me to shove them down the throat of any dissenter.

On your first rendezvous with this blog, you may be compelled to ask a few questions. In my usually laid-back posture, I want to imagine how my first interview with you would go:


Q: What is Media Nemesis?
A: What? Oh? Can’t you read?

Q: Who authors MN?
A: MN is written by me, JonXavier Ashiedu Ibusa III, a cyberholic computer aficionado, entertainment/media consumer extraordinaire and partially-employed Nigerian who still thrives on the welfare and goodwill of his siblings. This particular brand of family generosity enables me watch a lot of television in the first place while working on my computer in the hopes of starting an Internet-based business, study for an ICT certification and apply for any kind of employment online or offline, seriously hoping that an HR Head somewhere will turn a half-blind eye and eventually give me better employment someday. (Sigh…) Typically just one out of the large percentage of our Nigerian wrongfully-employed…

Q: Are you really serious?
A: Yes, I do take my views, reviews and opinions seriously though here I feel it is appropriate to say they are STRICTLY my OWN views, reviews and opinions. As for me being serious myself, weeeeeell…

Q: So what can we expect from reading your blogs?
A: OK. Just like I been saying for some time now: My most objective opinions, views, reviews, news gist, gossip and speculation on virtually everything ENTERTAINMENT, bearing in mind that that will be the FULCRUM on which all of these will lean on. And so, I, JX A I the Third, do solemnly swear to tell it EXACTLY AS IT IS, WITHOUT BIAS, PREJUDICE, FAVOUR OR FLOURISH, IRRESPECTIVE OF WHOSE OX, HORSE, COW, GOAT, TURKEY, FOWL, LIZARD, RAT, ANT OR MICROBE IS GORED, AMEN!

Q: Why a blog?
A: Actually, the financial implications of website hosting is a privilege that can not be taken for now. After being introduced to blogging as a suitable stepping stone to join the World Wide Web experience, I’ve embraced it wholeheartedly in the interim. Of course, the site plans are still in the pipeline, so to speak, so don’t be surprised when this blog eventually matures to become a full-blown site complete with videos, discussion groups, dedicated fanbase, etc.

Q: What exactly are your Entertainment credentials?
A: Credentials? None, actually. But what are YOUR readership credentials?

Q: OK. So who REALLY are you that gives you the RIGHT to be a critic?
A: (Sigh…) Well, plainly speaking, I’m just this fun-loving dude who loves writing first and entertainment second. This blog is thus the best marriage of both passions. Also as a long-time entertainment devotee, I bet that gives me the right to express my opinions publicly when so concerned as most people do privately…

Q: Are you affiliated to any record company, TV or radio station, entertainment outfit, etc specifically bent on promoting specific personalities or your clients, so to speak, while running others down?
A: Let me answer that question this way. Our major motto on Media Nemesis is this: NO FRIENDS, NO FOES, NO GODFATHERS…

Q: So do you own any…
A: (Cuts in shouting) That’s enough! I’ve got lots of stuff to write instead of just answering dumb questions! Shoo! Get movin’ man!

PS: Got any really serious questions to ask? We’ll continue this later. Meanwhile just send them via e-mail to medianemesis@gmail.com or medianemesis@yahoo.com or click on the Comments link to drop a comment. I promise to answer ALL of them sometime soon. See you next post!